New Beginnings
by Sugar.SomeSpice
Summary: Rachel always promised to herself, that she would never let others define who she was. But at some point she got tired of it. She's just human, and she needs to be loved. Join her as she goes on a journey to find who truly is.
1. Breakaway

A new day. It could be a new day.

I walked through Carmel's doors, with my head held and my shoulders squared. I was not going to let them hurt me and try to take me down. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I needed. I wanted to be a star a huge star. I wanted to be accepted. But underneath my tough exterior and showy attitude I was human. Ans as a human I knew what I needed. I needed to be loved.

There was going to many struggles and there would be even more tears to shed. But I would succeed...just like I always did.

_Rachel stood in front of her lock, cookies in her hand_. _She doubt anyone remembered Artie's birthday and even though they weren't on the best of terms, he was always kinder to her than others. Rachel heard the bell ring and walked to the Glee room with a bright smile on her face. Glee became more fun and everyone treated her a bit more nicely. She finally felt welcomed. _

_Rachel's hand was on the door handle when her heard laughing and giggles. She opened the door slowly and listened to what they were saying._

_'Oh my God! Did you see what she was wearing today? She looked like my grandma!' Quinn exclaimed before laughing loudly. Everyone joined her._

_'Now now Quinn. Lets not make fun of her clothes. Besides I don't know whats wrong with them.' Kurt said in a kind tone. Rachel felt a flame of respect for him, it died down when she heard what he said next. 'I'm too distracted by her _huge_ nose.' Everyone erupted in a fit of giggles. _

_'Good one.' Mercedes told him._

_'Did you invite her to Artie's surprise party?' Tina asked Puck. Puck scoffed._

_'You're kidding me right? Why the hell would I invite Pinocchio?' Rachel had never been called that before. They must have been calling her that behind her back._

_'I don't know. Artie would have wanted her there, and Finn too. Not that I do!' She sounded like she was ashamed of having Rachel at Artie's party. And she was. Tina still didn't like Rachel, she doubted she ever would. Because no one liked Rachel. 'She'd probably ruin everything.' _

_'No duh. She's the reason we lost Regionals. She slept with Jesse and her slutty ass got us third place.' Santana said, venom spewing out of her voice._

_'She takes all the solos.' Mercedes said._

_'She looks like a man.' Santana said._

_'She's selfish and vindictive.' Quinn said, remembering Finn._

_'I just don't like anything about her.' Kurt said, his voice bored._

_'Fuck! Could we stop talking about Berry. It's giving me a headache.' Puck exclaimed loudly. _

_'Maybe we should just kick her out.' Kurt said._

_'Knowing her, shes probably gave Mr. Shue enough head to keep her here for ten years.' Santana spat out._

_Everyone laughed and the comments kept getting worse and worse.  
_

_Rachel had been in such shock she hadn't noticed she had been crying. They didn't like her. They never would. She was a terrible, awful, egotistical person. All of her life she thought that she could be someone great. She was beautiful, lithe, graceful, intelligent, talented. She could do anything and everything she wanted. But she was human. Humans had feelings and humans wanted to be loved. But no one cared for Rachel. She always thought that it was because they were jealous. But the truth was, everyone simply hated her. _

_They hated her. _

_'Rachel?'_

_Rachel turned to see three men before her. Finn, Mr. Shue and Artie._

_'Oh! Hello.' Rachel said wiping the tears quickly away from her eyes and getting herself together. She realized what it was she needed to do._

_'Rach. Are you okay?' Finn said waling towards her._

_'Fine.' She said quickly, holding her arms out telling motioning for him to stop. 'Mr. Shue. I'm leaving. I need to find a place that cherishes my talent, my attitude and my perseverance.'_

_They stood in front of Rachel completely dumbstruck. 'What?' They asked at the same time._

_'I've come to realize that McKinley High doesn't respect me. Neither does New Directions. Nor will they ever appreciate me. So I made up my mind. I'm leaving to find a place where they will greatly understand my talents.' Rachel stood her ground and didn't care that they looked at her like she was a mad woman. She nodded once quickly. 'Goodbye.'_

_'Rachel! Rachel wait! You cant go.I won't let you go.' Finn yelled at her. He began to tear up and he felt empty. 'Please Rach. I'm begging you. Don't go.'_

_Rachel felt shame wash over her. She saw the intense pain in Finn's eyes and the hurt on his face. But she couldn't stay here. She could handle it before, the name calling and the teasing. She could handle it all. But not any more-not after she realized that not even her talent could keep her in glee. _

_'I-I'm sorry Finn. I love you so much. But I can't.' Rachel barley choked out. She averted her eyes from Finn's stare and looked down at the cookies in her hand. _

_'Oh happy birthday Artie.' She said in the most enthusiastic voice she could manage._

_'Thanks.' He said quietly taking the cookies she handed to him. _

_'Rachel go home. And please think this over_. _I'll call you later.' Finn got out of his mouth just in time._

_'Goodbye.' Was all that Rachel told him. Before she squeezed his hand and walked away. As she got out of McKinley High, she finally broke down. She let the tears take a hold of her. She allowed her body to succumb to the pain, and allowed her heart to break. Finally she was free, though she promised herself she would never let others push her around or break her down, she was free from McKinley-her personal hell. The only thing she was going to miss was Finn. Rachel finally realized she had to pull herself together. She stood up confidently from the concrete flood she was sitting on and walked to her car. Humming "Fighter" the whole way there.  
_

_Meanwhile, Mr. Shue who always had an answer to everything stood there, shocked out of his mind. Because this time New Directions star was leaving. For good._

'Alright. That's enough! This is an audition for a glee club. But not just any glee club, the best damn glee club in the nation.' Selby Corcoran said a bit angrily, I guess they really were that terrible. I stared at the group of teenagers that stood on the Carmel stage. They looked awkward and scrawny. Vocal Adrenaline needed someone like me. Strong, determined, hardworking, talented and beautiful. I could be their star.

'Ms. Corcoran?' I asked as confidently as I could. I hadn't seen her since Regionals, where she rejected me and where I made a complete fool of myself. 'May I audition?'

'Rachel?' Her eyes went wide and she looked at me, gaping.

'You look like you could use the talent.' I told her, she knew that if she wanted to win five times in a row. She needed someone like me. Someone who could match the talent and glamour that Jesse had. Her eyes narrowed, she knew I was right.

'You don't go this school. You can't audition.' She looked down at the papers in her hand, suddenly very interested in them.

'No you're right I don't go to this school.' I paused and appraised Selby's expression. 'But in a few days I will. And I believe I should be able to audition for a chance to be in your esteemed glee club.'

'What do you mean "In a few days you will?" ' Shelby asked me cautiously.

'I've come to realize that New Directions does not meet me standards.' Liar, I thought to myself. 'So I have decided to go to a place where people will appreciate me. And where I will feel like I am a part of something beyond my thought projection. Besides you've lost most of your group. Since most of them were seniors, there all gone. You need new talent. Fresh talent. Someone with my level of expertise. I can help you and you can help me. it's a win win situation.' I told her happily. She would be getting a fresh new star and I'd be getting a sense of belonging.

Shelby sighed tiredly. 'What are you doing Rachel? I thought we talked about this already.'

My eyes began to burn. The smile on my lips faded slowly. I still wasn't wanted, but that wasn't why I was here. 'I'm not looking for a mother daughter relationship Shelby. I just need to be a winner, and this is the only place I can think of going.'

I looked at her in the eyes, I knew she wasn't fond of me. But I needed this. I had begged my dads to let me go to Carmel. The only thing she had to do was let me audition. Please, please let me show her that I could win Nationals for her. No...for me.

'Alright. Alright fine. Show me what you got.' She told me exasperated.

I smiled widely at her and ran to the stage ecstatically.

_Grew up in a small town__  
And when the rain would fall down  
I'd just stare out my window_

_ Dreamin' of what could be__And if I'd end up happy  
I would pray _

_ Trying hard to reach out__  
But when I tried to speak out__  
Felt like no one could hear me__  
Wanted to belong here  
But something felt so wrong here _

_So I prayed I could breakaway _

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly  
__I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky __  
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change__  
And breakaway  
__Out of the darkness and into the sun__  
But I won't forget all the ones that I love  
__I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway _

_Wanna feel the warm breeze_

_ Sleep under a palm tree  
Feel the rush of the ocean  
Get on board a fast train  
Travel on a jetplane, far away  
And breakaway_

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly  
__I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky __  
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change__  
And breakaway  
__Out of the darkness and into the sun__  
But I won't forget all the ones that I love  
__I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway _

_Buildings with a hundred floors  
__Swinging round revolving doors  
__Maybe I don't know where they'll take me__  
But, gotta keep moving on, moving on  
Fly away, breakaway_

_ I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly__  
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, gotta__  
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway _

_Out of the darkness and into the sun__  
But I won't forget the place I come from  
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change__  
And breakaway_  
_Breakaway Breakaway..._

I opened my eyes to see everyone in the auditorium staring at me_. _I smiled widely. Everyone stared up at me, their faces were priceless. This was the response I wanted. I wanted people to be jealous and astonished.

'That's what I'm looking for.' Shelby's voice broke through the silence. 'The smile, the voice, the grace. Rachel Berry.' I looked at her, hoping that I made it. Her face was blank and smooth of all emotion. It was impossible for me to tell if I was in or not. I looked at her, praying that she was impressed, I needed this club. I left McKinley. I left New Directions. And I possibly lost Finn. I had nothing else, nothing else but myself.

'Although the song wouldn't have been my first choice...' She paused and stood up, I felt a bead of sweat on my forehead and my breathing quickened. 'It was amazing. Congratulations. Welcome to Vocal Adrenaline.'Everyone began to clap and I stared at her in shock. It took me a while before I registered what she said.

I couldn't help the squeal that escaped my lips. I looked at Shelby once more. 'Thank you. Thank you so much.' I told her gratefully. She nodded and sat back down in her chair. Her eyes were once again glued to the papers in front of her. 'Next' She yelled.

I ran off the stage and took a seat next to a boy. I looked at Shelby, she really didn't want me. She would treat me as a student and that was all I was ever going to be. And a part of me, a huge part of me was deeply displeased with that. But the other part of me was absolutely thrilled, not at the idea of never having a mother, but at what being here in this group meant. It meant I was a part of something, something that people cherished. Which meant I would mean a lot to people. I smiled at that new prospect when the boy beside me tapped my shoulder.

'Hey. Rachel right?' He asked me with a sharp smile on his face.

I grinned back at him. 'Yeah it's Rachel. Nice to meet you...' I trailed off, wondering what his name was.

'Ben.'

'Ben.'

He extended his hand. 'Your new.' He told me. 'Well you'll love it here.'

I looked up and around the auditorium. It was much grander and meretricious than McKinley's. I took in my surroundings and smiled at the new beginnings I could make here. 'You know what I think I already do.'

* * *

So this takes place after Regionals, things have changed a little though. For one thing. Shelby never left. That's pretty much it.

The song Rachel is humming is Fighter by Christina Aguilara.

Please review. Thanks.


	2. Nothing Compares 2 U

I don't own any of the characters from glee.

* * *

'Finn? What just happened?' Artie asked Finn who looked like he couldn't breathe.

'I-I'm not sure.' Finn responded in monotone. 'Why-Why would she leave. Things were going so well.'

'Finn. Don't beat yourself up. She'll be back tomorrow. She always comes back.' Mr. Shue said, giving himself and the two boys false hope.

'No she won't.' Finn covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath. 'What did I do wrong Mr. Shue? I don't get it, why would she just leave without giving us a real reason.'

Then the three of them heard laughter from the glee room. Artie was the first to understand. 'Or maybe she did have a real reason.'

Finn looked down at him. Rachel's tears and mascara stains, her trembling lip, her hurt eyes when he asked here to stay. Finn was not the reason she was leaving she loved him. She cared for him deeply, she loved him. He wasn't the reason, but if he wasn't then who was. Again the laughter rang out of the Glee room. Finn eyes snapped up, and he realized who was to blame.

Finn pushed the door open angrily. 'What the hell did you guys say to her!' He screamed in fury.

'Whoa Finn. Calm down man.' Puck said sticking his arms out and placing him hands on his shoulders.

'No, don't tell me what to do.' He pushed Puck away from him roughly. 'What did you all tell her?' He asked again, looking at all of them.

'Tell who?' Mercedes asked, completely confused.

'Rachel.' Finn said curtly.

'Oh the drama queen. What has she done now?' Kurt said sarcastically, causing everyone to smile slightly.

'Shut up Kurt!' Finn growled at him. Mercedes got angry watching Kurt shrink back in fear.

'Hey! Leave him alone. Whats up with you?' She asked, her diva attitude showing.

'You wanna know. It's you. It's all of you.' He said bitterly. 'I know you said something to Rachel. And I want to know what you said.'

Everyone in the room went quiet, everyone looked down at the floor and didn't dare look up at Finn.

'Guys. Did you say something to Rachel?' Mr. Shue asked gently.

Mercedes looked at Tina and Kurt before responding. 'Yeah, I mean no. Not to her face at least.'

'What do you mean, by that.' Finn asked her. She didn't say anything but she looked to Tina for help.

'We were just teasing. That's all.' She said in low voice, suddenly very ashamed of what she said and how she acted. If someone had done that to her she'd have probably broken down in tears. 'We didn't mean for her to know. She heard us didn't she?'

'Yeah I think she did. And now she's gone. Thanks to you idiots.' Finn said accusingly.

'Hey man. Watch what you say, and who you say it to.' Puck said angrily.

'Yeah man, what are you gonna do about it.' The two boys inched closer to each other, there faces fuming.

'Okay, okay enough!' Mr. Shue interrupted. He separated the boys and told Puck to take a seat. He took a deep breath and Artie wheeled up next to Finn. He pinched the bridge of his nose before he spoke. 'I'm really disappointed in you all. Where's everyone else?'

'Mike, Matt and Brittany all have detention.' Santana told him.

'Okay, then I want you all to listen to me. I have no idea what it is you said about her, but you shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Rachel is a part of this team. She has done a lot for you all, and she is your co-captain. I think its only fair to treat her with respect.' Mr. Shue took a deep breath. 'Do you guys know that Rachel left. You guys really hurt her feelings.'

'Oh Mr. Shue, that's Rachel. Tomorrow she'll come back with a mile long list of new ideas.' Kurt told him as if he could foresee the future.

' No she's not coming back.' Finn said sadly. 'She told us she wasn't. She told us she was leaving.'

'Oh and you believed her.' Quinn said laughing a little. 'She's done this before. Trust me she'll be back before we know it.'

'Quinn. She left. She's not coming back. _Trust me_ I know Rachel more than any of you.' Finn said looking at her and then everyone else. He sat at the piano chair and exhaled loudly.

It was quiet for a moment before Tina spoke softly. 'So she's really gone?' Finn didn't respond so Artie spoke for him.

'Yeah, I think so.'

Kurt cleared his throat. 'I thought the day Rachel Berry left glee club for good would be the day I jumped for joy.'

'I second that.' Santana said with a little less venom than usually.

'But without her...were never going to win Sectionals.' He said shamefully.

'We need to get her back.' Puck said determined. 'If we want glee club to continue and if we want to win we need Rachel. Where did she go?' He said turning to Finn, Finn shrugged and remained as still as a statue. 'What do you mean by that, I thought she was your girlfriend?' Finn looked up at him and glared, but he still didn't say anything. He opened him mouth but instead of speaking he got up, turned on his heel and left. They were the reason Rachel wasn't here, but Puck was right. They needed to get her back. Finn ran outside to his car all the while thinking up plans to salvage glee, and save their relationship.

'What did she say?' Tina asked.

'She said she needed to be respected and appreciated.' Artie told her, reaching for her hand.

'I feel terrible.' Tina complained to Artie. 'I think we all feel terrible.'

'Well I don't.' Puck said, everyone else nodded. Mr. Shue glanced at him disapprovingly.

'I kinda feel bad. I just hate that we don't have enough people for glee, and even if we did get one more person. It would be a very slim chance of us even winning.' Kurt said.

'So you think we should get her back?' Mercedes asked.

'Yes. And as soon as possible. Because I think I know where she is right now.' Kurt told then slowly.

'Where?' Quinn asked him, intrigued.

'Carmel High School.' He said. Because it was true. Rachel wanted respect. And whatever Rachel wished for she got. Vocal Adrenaline could give her what she wanted.

'Oh no.' Tina and Mercedes said.

'That's it, we're doomed.' Puck said slamming the football he had in his hands to the floor.

'Not if we get her back.' Kurt told him, pursing his lips.

'Maybe we should go visit her. If she is at Carmel I mean.' Tina told Mr. Shue.

'That's a great idea. I'll go talk to Figgins, I'll ask him if he knows anything about Rachel.' Mr. Shue said before running out of the room. He was just a bit distressed.

The glee club watched Mr. Shue, the backbone of glee, rush out of the room. Confused and conflicted. They looked at one another knowing it was their fault. They were the reason Rachel left and they were the reason glee would end.

* * *

Hope you like it, please review.


	3. It Must Have Been Love

I don't own any of the characters from glee.

* * *

Vocal Adrenaline was my home. I loved it there, I loved all the hard work they put into their performances. I loved their personalities and their grace. They reminded me of myself. But of course, they weren't as amazingly talented. We were practicing during sixth period when I got a text, it was from Finn. I stared at the phone in shock I hadn't received any contact with Finn or any other of the my ex glee members since I left. Which was a week ago.I took a deep breath before I open the text.

My eyes skimmed over it quickly and I couldn't believe what he said, all he wanted me to do was to go to McKinley and get a signature from Mr. Shue for my transfer.

He wasn't asking me to go back. He wasn't begging to return. He was telling to get the last signature and leave, he was practicly telling me to stay and never come back. My eyes began to sting. I stared at the phone completely shocked. He didn't want me anymore, he probably wanted Quinn. But not me. Why do I always fall for the boys who end up leaving me.

'Hey Rach, are you ready to go?' I heard Ben ask from behind me. His gray eyes looked down at me worriedly. 'Rachel? Are you okay? What's wrong?'

'Umm, it's nothing. Really. I just have to go.' I turned away from him and walked out to the Carmel parking lot.

'Rachel! Wait up!' He called after me. 'What's wrong? It's Finn isn't it?' He asked, Ben had become a confidante here at Carmel. He was the first friend I made here and I told him all I wanted was friendship. He laughed in my face when I told him this though. As it turned out he was gay. So that made it impossible for him to fall in love with me.

'Yeah. But I'm just blowing way out of proportion.' I told him quietly.

He took a deep breath and frowned. 'What's wrong?'

'I have to get the last signature for my transfer to be complete. But I don't think I can do it. I've been blowing this off for days, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do it.' I looked down at the floor, not willing to meet his astonished glare.

'Fine.' He grabbed my hand and led me to his car. 'Get in.'

'Where are we going?' I asked curiously.

'McKinley.' He started the car and the doors lock, I looked at Ben with a wild expression. ' No we're not.' I told him sternly.

'Oh yes we are. Listen Rach, you need to face your fears. Come on just get it over with. After this you never have to go back.' He told me optimistically.

'But what about Finn.' I said more sadly than I expected. I still loved Finn. But I would be difficult to be with him, what with the both of us being from rivaling Glee clubs and schools.

Ben looked over at me quickly pitifully. 'You'll find a way.' He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently. I smiled weakly at him and turned to stare out the window. What was I doing? I shouldn't be going back to McKinley, I should be trying to get as far away as possible. But for some reason I could never let my past go, I knew no person in the world could. But I should be able to. I'm Rachel Berry. I should be able o do things no other person could do.

I gave myself a glimpse of confidence for about two seconds, before it washed away. We made our way to McKinley's parking lot, my heart began to race. I felt dizzy and woozy. 'Ben.' I managed to choke out. 'I don't think I can do this.'

He stepped out of the car and walked to my side, I spun around frantically searching for a way out. He open the door and motioned for me to step out. I clenched the seat under me and dug my fingers into the fabric. Ben sighed and murmured something under his breath. He reached for me and carried me his arms.

'W-What are you doing!' I shrieked at him Pounding my fists against his chest.

'You want to act like a child. So I'm treating you like one.' He said simply. We walked through the doors and I began to panic. What if someone saw us? What if _Finn_ saw us?

'Put me down.' I told him, my voice hoarse.

'What was that?' We inched closer to the glee room. And the panic in me broke.

'_Put me down!' _I commanded angrily. He staggered back, and placed me gently on the floor.

'Okay okay.' He put his hands up and backed away. I looked at him furiously, but my expression softened and I stepped towards him. Pulling him into a tight hug.

'Thank you.' I told him gently, he simply squeezed me tighter and released me. We waled towards the door of the glee room, I put my hand on the know and turned it slowly. As I walked it I was immediately surprised. The glee was decorated brightly, pink, white and purple streamers hung brightly from the ceiling. There was vases full of wax roses and the floor was covered in in glitter and confetti. I looked around, everything look beautiful. Extravagant and lovely. I gaped at the twelve people in front of me, they were dressed head to toe in white.

I cleared my throat and smiled weakly at them. 'Whats the occasion?'

'You're the occasion.' Finn told me sweetly. I turned to him and smiled. 'Hi.' He said softly.

'Hi.' I whispered shyly to him. We looked at each other for a few seconds before he looked behind me. His eyes suddenly filled with hate. 'Who's this?' he asked me roughly, his voice had a certain edge to it. As if he were accusing me of something.

I opened my mouth to reprimand him, but Ben brushed past me. 'Benjamin Davis, co-captain of Vocal Adrenaline, and the head of the photography club at Carmel High School. Pleasure to meet you, you must be Finn. Rachel talks about you all of the time, it gets quite aggravating at times.' Ben laughed and shot a sly smile at everyone in the room. Every girl in the room including Kurt and except for me laughed sweetly, falling for his charm.

I rolled my eyes at them, and Finn growled. 'I don't know what that means but it sounds insulting.'

Ben laughed and pushed me back when I tried to go talk to Finn. 'It means annoying.'

Finn got angry, I could see it in his eyes. Ben should not have said that. Finn rushed towards him and pushed him roughly. 'What are you saying about my girlfriend?' He demanded angrily.

Ben expression changed to complete horror, he cowered down and began to stammer random words. I stepped toward them and gently shoved Finn away placing my hands on either side of his face. I held him until he calmed down. 'Finn. Finn look at me! He didn't mean it like that. He was just joking.' I laughed nervously.

'It's not funny, I should kick you ass!' He screamed to a still frightened Ben.

'Finn! Finn please calm down. Please. I know you're angry, and probably a little jealous but you have to understand there is nothing going on between me and Ben. Nothing. Trust me.' I told him softly, he had to trust me. If he didn't we could never make this relationship work.

'I do trust you. It's him I don't trust.' He raised his voice and pointed behind me.

'Finn.' I sighed impatiently. 'You have to trust him. He's my best friend.'

'Yeah, so what? You don't know what hes planning inside of his head.' Finn looked down at me, his eyes worried. he was worried about me. My heart swelled up with love.

'Finn he is not planning anything. He can't plan anything because he...he's...' I stopped and looked away. I wasn't going to tell everyone Ben was gay. It wasn't my secret to tell.

'Because I'm gay.' Ben said proudly behind me. I turned and smiled at him.

'Oh' Finn looked confused but a small smile formed on his lips. 'That's cool. Um sorry about...' Finns face flushed, I bit my lip to hide my smile and Finn rubbed the back of his neck shamefully.

'No problem.' Ben told him happily. I looked at Kurt. He was beaming at Ben. I watched the two boys. Kurt waved at him slightly and Ben winked. I shuddered slightly. If my nemesis dated my best friend it was going to cause a problem.

'Rachel? Could we hurry this up?' Ben asked. 'We need to meet everyone at Kate's house for practice.'

Rachel looked at him shocked that he could be so insensitive. 'Right, Mr. Shue, I will be needing those transfer papers with your signature please.'

They all stared at me, as if i was speaking pig Latin.

'Rachel, we made this party for you. To show you how much you mean to us. To show you how much we care about you.' Kurt told me with an oily smile on his lips. They all smiled, and it was all fake. The only genuine looks of kindness came from Finn, Artie and Mr. Shue.

'You only care about winning. That's all. All I mean to you is a ticket to Nationals. I'm only a girl who can hit high notes to you. All you care about is my talent. Not me.' I told them through clenched teeth. I turned to Mr. Shue and held my hand out. 'The papers.' I told him bluntly.

Mr. Shue looked at me desperately, but I didn't give in. He sighed in defeat and looked around the room searching for what I asked him for.

'You can't be serious.' Quinn said skeptically. She turned to me and her hazel eyes burning with rage. 'We throw you this huge party. And beg you to come back and you refuse us? Well guess what we don't need you.' Everyone began to nod in agreement.

I suddenly got angry with her and everyone else. 'I haven't heard anyone beg for me to stay yet Quinn. And I doubt I am. So please spare me your bitchy attitude and listen to me when I say I am so sick and tired of treating you all sweetly. We're going to Sectionals and we're going to win. Then we're going to Regionals and we're going to _win_. So have fun with your helpless team, because i was the back bone of New Directions and I was the voice. Without me you all are nothing but a pile of mush. So have fun trying to win without me.' I snatched the papers from Mr. Shue's shocked face and turned to leave. As the door opened I turned back to the paralyzed teen that used to be my teammates. 'I wish you all the best of luck.' I added sarcastically.

Ben and I walked out of the school all the while Ben complemented me on the actions I took. But I didn't hear anything he said. I was so concentrated on Finn's hurt face. I didn't want to break his heard but it looked like it was going to happen. I felt a mixture of embarrassment and courage for what just happened. I was very proud of myself and yet I was also very disappointed. I had stooped to their level of arrogance, something I thought I would never do.

I opened Ben's passenger door when I heard Finn run after me. 'Rach! Rach stop!'

I ran towards him. 'Finn? What are you doing?' I asked flabbergasted.

He leaned down and kissed me. He took me by surprise but i closed my eyes enjoying the contact I had with him after a week of separation. 'You were totally hot in there.' He told me in a seductive voice. I flushed deeply and pulled him in for a tight hug. I dreaded the question I was going to ask next but I needed to know where we stood.

'Finn?' I asked uncertainly.

'Mmmm'

'Do you think we can do this?' He pulled away from me and I suddenly felt very empty. He looked into my eyes and a frown formed on his lips

His eyes filled up with angst and honesty. 'Rachel I don't think we can do this. I mean...you're not going to this school anymore and you're leading a new life. Maybe we should just move on.'

It felt like the world stopped spinning. The only thing that mattered was Finn and he was standing in front of me rejecting my heart and love. My heart ached. I rubbed my temples in slow circles and tried to concentrate on soothing thoughts. I always fell for him, and my heart always broke more than the first time.

'Rachel...I'm sorry.' He whispered to me.' I just want you to know that-'

'No. No really, you've said enough.' I said in a broken whisper. I didn't know how long I could stay here under his stare, I felt like dying. 'Goodbye.'

'Goodb-' He started but I ran off before he could finish.

As soon as I got into Ben's car. he stopped talking. I stared out the windshield blankly and kept quiet. As soon we were out of McKinley Highs sight, I began to cry. Ben looked over at me sympathetically and placed a hand on my shoulder. He began to sing a sweet song to me, I don't know if it helped or if it made things worse but nevertheless he sang. The tears that ran down my cheeks burned my cheeks. What Finn and I had was beautiful, but now it was gone.

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	4. Fixing a Fever

I don't own any of the characters from glee.

* * *

'What are we doing here Mr. Shue?' Finn asked warily It had been almost a whole month since Rachel and Finn's breakup. He still wasn't over her, but what was he supposed to do. Stay with Rachel while both of their schools, Glee clubs and sports teams were fighting. Finn couldn't deal with that pressure. What can you say, he was weak. And he would be even more weak now that he was standing in form of Carmel High school along with his other glee club members.

'Vocal Adrenaline invited us to come watch them perform. They accepted our invitation last week, now we could return the favor.' Will turned to face his kids. 'Look guys, just because the have Rachel doesn't mean that there going to beat us at nationals, don't worry guys we're gonna win.'

Mercedes laughed out loud, she looked around at her team. 'You think we're afraid of Rachel. Mr. Shue don't make me laugh. Look she might be good, but all of us together are better than her. So don't worry about us, we just gotta work harder to beat all of them.' Kurt and Mercedes hooked arms and smiled at the other. Mr. Shue nodded swiftly and motioned for them to go into the auditorium doors. That's when Beth began to cry and Quinn rocked her softly in her arms.

'Puck.' She whispered. 'I think this was a bad idea. We shouldn't have brought Beth. She's just crying and crying.' Quinn groaned and regretted bringing her, thinking that she should have just left her with her mom. Puck threw his am over Quinn's shoulder, thinking the same thing. But everyone else was thinking and knowing that Rachel and Vocal Adrenaline were going to be terrible. They joked, whispered and taunted Rachel with harsh words and nasty remarks. During that time Finn listened to his ipod and tried to block everyone out, Quinn and Puck tried to calm Beth, and Will pretended not to hear the rude things his students were saying, like always.

But in that instant something changed and a seductive and enchanting voice flowed through the hall, they followed the familiar voice and tried and tried to believe that the voice was not who they all knew it was. And when they finally made it to the very spot where a luring Rachel Berry stood, they gaped at her astonished that she could actually sing a sexy song.

_Never known how much I love you,_  
_never known how much I care._  
_When you put your arms around me,_  
_I get a fever that's so hard to bear._  
_You give me fever, when you kiss me,_  
_fever when you hold me tight._  
_Fever, in the the morning,_  
_fever all through the night._

_Sun lights up the daytime,_  
_moon lights up the night._  
_I light up when you call my name,_  
_and you know I'm gonna treat you right._  
_You give me fever, when you kiss me,_  
_fever when you hold me tight._  
_Fever, in the the morning,_  
_fever all through the night._  
_Everybody's got the fever,_  
_that is something you all know._  
_Fever isn't such a new thing,_  
_fever started long ago._

_Now you've listened to my story,_  
_here's the point I have made:_  
_Chicks were born to give you fever,_  
_be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade._  
_They give you fever, when you kiss them,_  
_fever if you live and learn._  
_Fever, till you sizzle,_  
_what a lovely way to burn._  
_What a lovely way to burn._  
_What a lovely way to burn._

They watched as she finished and stared blankly at her, as if she had put them under a spell. But all she did was sing, what she did best. Rachel opened her eyes, which were closed during the whole song, to see her old "friends", Mr. Shue and Finn staring up at her. Their expressions were a mix of shock, jealously and fear. But only one face held the sweet look of longing. She tore her eyes away for Finn when Shelby called out to her.

'Rachel! You've got to be kidding me, mediocre, the whole thing was mediocre. I want passion and emotion. You can give me that, right?' She asked, demanding.

'Yes Ms. Corcoran. That's why I am your glee captain. And I promise I will bring a spectacular performance for you right now.' Rachel said determined to prove she was far from mediocre. She grabbed the microphone roughly and opened her mouth to sing.

'Rachel stop. Just wait for a minute or two. Now show that smile.' Rachel smiled her signature smile causing both and Finn and Shelby to grin slightly, one smiled out of love and the other out of pride. 'Now get down here and help me greet.'

Rachel nodded and made her way to Shelby's desk. Shelby walked up to Will and shook his hand.

'Nice to see you again Will.'

'You to Shelby.' Will leaned in and whispered to Shelby in a very low voice. 'Her performance was amazing, don't you think you should cut her some slack.'

Shelby scoffed and took her hand back. 'I don't have favorites with my students William. I treat them all equally or at least how they deserve to be treated. Besides that might have been a great performance for you, but it was only a tolerable performance for me. Because I make stars, unlike your team.' She told him not bothering t lower her voice.

Will stepped up to her and pointed his finger down at her. 'Hey don't criticize my club. It's an insult.'

'Yeah. Well don't tell me how to run mine.' She said proving that she and her team deserved as much respect as they did._ 'It's an insult.'_ She added sarcastically.

William looked at her speechless and shook his head and apologized. Shelby didn't respond and instead walked forward to meet Rachel. 'I have to go get the sheet music, stay with Ben and keep them all busy.' She told Rachel while motioning to the rival glee club. Rachel nodded, again and stepped forward to greet her old club.

'Hello everyone. Welcome.' Rachel told them all in a sweet, but fake, tone.

Everyone looked at her, it had only been a month and yet Rachel treated them like they were complete strangers. 'Hi Rachel.' Artie spoke up above them all. Rachel's bright expression softened and she looked towards him. He was the most kind to her out of all of them and she realized then that she couldn't treat them all coldly. She had to remember where she came from and who she was before Carmel.

'How have you guys been?' Rachel asked them, this time genuinely interested. Artie opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by a cry from the baby in Quinn's arms.

'Ugh! Why won't she be quiet?' Quinn yelled at Puck. He shrugged and walked towards Mike leaving Quinn to deal with the crying mess. Rachel stared at the baby and smiled warmly.

'Is that Beth?' She asked Quinn softly.

'No. It's a baby I stole from a woman on the street.' She told Rachel sarcastically. The glee club watched them and waited for a heated argument to begin. After a short silence Quinn sighed deeply. 'Yeah this is Beth.'

Rachel bit down on her lip and looked down. 'Can I hold her?' She asked timidly. Everyone gaped at her in shock. They were all thinking about what an idiot she was.

'She's crying and she wont stop. I'm telling you, you don't want to hold her when shes acting up.' Quinn warned her.

'I am perfectly fine with the crying. Maybe I can stop it.' Rachel told her, still shy.

'How?' Quinn asked her a little too rudely.

'I have my ways.' She responded in a calm and cool manner, and waited for Quinn to give her an answer. Quinn finally gave up and handed Beth to her gently.

'Fine. Okay, just don't traumatize her.' Rachel smiled thankfully and ignored what Quinn had told her. Beth cried and cried, Rachel was afraid she might break.

'Beth.' Rachel said in a honey soaked voice. 'Ben?' She called out as quietly as she could. 'Fix you.' She told him, he got his guitar and met Rachel at the bottom of the stage. He began to strum lightly and Rachel started to sing.

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_  
_ When you get what you want, but not what you need_  
_ When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_  
_ Stuck in reverse_

_ And the tears come streaming down your face_  
_ When you lose something you can't replace_  
_ When you love someone, but it goes to waste_  
_ Could it be worse?_

_ Lights will guide you home_  
_ And ignite your bones_  
_ And I will try to fix you_

_ And high up above or down below_  
_ When you're too in love to let it go_  
_ But if you never try you'll never know_  
_ Just what you're worth_

_ Lights will guide you home_  
_ And ignite your bones_  
_ And I will try to fix you_

_ Tears stream down on your face_  
_ When you lose something you cannot replace_  
_ Tears stream down on your face_  
_ And on your face I..._

_ Tears stream down on your face_  
_ I promise you I will learn from my mistakes_  
_ Tears stream down on your face_  
_ And on your face I..._

_ Lights will guide you home_  
_ And ignite your bones_  
_ And I will try to fix you_

The last note lingered in the air and Finn had feeling that song wasn't just for Beth. Rachel handed Beth back to Quinn as soon as she fell asleep. Quinn took her back and promised herself she would sing to Beth every night. Shelby and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline walked back in the auditorium and Rachel smiled slightly at Quinn. Quinn noticed but didn't care, she didn't even thank her. But Rachel didn't seem to mind.

New Directions watched their rival team dance and sing just a perfectly as they did when Jesse St. James was with them. The McKinley High glee club shook in their seats and realized that the gloves had come off, they shouldn't have underestimated Rachel. They should have remembered that she could be as ruthless and heartless when she wanted to win. And it wasn't an insult it was true, even Rachel knew how she acted when it came to competitions. But now they were in for it, they were going to witness and be a part of the tornado of destruction that Rachel Berry could be.

Vocal Adrenaline sang old 1960's songs, _Build me up Buttercup_ and _Be My Baby_. That's the reason they were wearing old vintage clothing that you only saw in movies. As they closed up there performance, Vocal Adrenaline cleaned up the messy stage, Shelby had a secluded discussion with Will, and Quinn stared at Beth as she slept soundly. Finn looked up at Rachel as she messed around with her new friends and decided it was a good idea to try and talk to her. He stood up slowly, but he was stopped by a sudden loud noise. He and the rest of his glee club turned to see Jesse St. James walk into the auditorium.

Finn eyed him skeptically because Jesse wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be in California. This was a thought he shared with the rest of his teammates, but no one voiced their thoughts they simply stayed in their seats and watched and waited for Jesse to do something. But all he did he was make Rachel jump in surprise. She squealed happily and threw her arms around Jesse's neck. They twirled in a big circle and Rachel was rambling on and on about how good it was to see him. During this time Finn tried hard not to jump out of seat and straggle Jesse for touching Rachel.

'Get off my girlfriend.' He whispered harshly. Kurt heard him and nudged him slightly. Reminding him that he wasn't with Rachel anymore, reminding him that he wasn't happy. Finn looked at him ungratefully before he stood up and walked out of the room, he couldn't stand to be in there any more. Not while Jesse was in there with Rachel, probably as her boyfriend. Because he picked up the pieces of Rachel's heart that Finn had stupidly destroyed. He paced back and forth trying not to think of Rachel and Jesse together, again. But all he could think of was them, and how Rachel wasn't his.

Why did Kurt have to remind him that a month ago, he made the biggest mistake of his life?

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	5. The Way I Loved You

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

'So Rachel how have you been since the last time I saw you?' Jesse asked in a playful tone. I smiled at him and nudged him in the ribs.

'It's been a week Jesse. And I am absolutely fine.' I told him curtly.

'Oh. Well I never asked how you've been doing.' He said placing his hand on my arm gently. I look at his hand for a second before looking to his accusing eyes. 'Do you think it's important for me to know how your doing?'

I stared at him in shock. He thought I was crazy didn't he, I just wanted to tell him I was feeling content and not insane. 'I thought you wanted to know. I'm sorry if you misinterpreted me but I'm fine.'

Jesse nodded and smiled slightly. 'Rachel i know you too well. You told me you were doing fine so we wouldn't talk about the fact that Finn was at your rehearsal today. And I have a very strong feeling that you are not as fine as you think and say you are.'

'You know I think that our dance wasn't as good as Shelby said it was. The choreography was fantastic but I think Amy messed up on the last jump. Oh but you didn't see that part did you. To bad you would have thought it was terrible.' I really wanted to get off of this subject. Not that I don't like talking about myself, I just dislike including Finn and myself in the same discussion now that we weren't a couple anymore.

'Rachel.' He said simply. I glared at him. Damn him and his watchful eye. Why did he have to be so observant? I threw my hands up in the air out of frustration and cursed at him silently. 'All right. I'm not fine. I'm absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I just...I miss him. So much, too much. I can't think straightly when I think of him and I can't breathe either. I feel so helpless and childlike. I loath the feeling of self reliance.' I gabbed my coffee and drank it quickly ignoring the painful stinging on my tongue and throat. I enjoyed the quiet silence as Jesse let me think about my situation. A song was playing in the background that sparked a little reminder of Finn I locked eye with Jesse for a while and then glued my eyes to my hands and listened to the song.

_And I feel perfectly fine _

_ But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain _  
_ And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name _  
_ You're so in love that you act insane _  
_ And that's the way I loved you _  
_ Breakin' down and coming undone _  
_ It's a roller coaster kinda rush _  
_ And I never knew I could feel that much _  
_ And that's the way I loved you _

_ He respects my space _  
_ And never makes me wait _  
_ And he calls exactly when he says he will _  
_ He's close to my mother _  
_ Talks business with my father _  
_ He's charming and endearing _  
_ And I'm comfortable _

_ But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain _  
_ And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name _  
_ You're so in love that you act insane _  
_ And that's the way I loved you _  
_ Breakin' down and coming undone _  
_ It's a roller coaster kinda rush _  
_ And I never knew I could feel that much _  
_ And that's the way I loved you_

Jesse cleared his throat and spoke softly. 'I know. I hate that feeling too.' I smiled at him wondering how it was possible that we got along so easily now, even though we had been archenemies for some small point in our lives. 'So..what are you going to do about it?'

I felt my eyes being to water and I buried my head in my hands. 'Ugh. What can i do? He doesn't want to be with me, and I will _not_ transfer back to McKinley. Why doesn't he understand that I love him but I am simply not capable of ever being at that school again. That's the only reason he won't stay with me, a stupid school.'

'Yes and that stupid school is the reason _your_ at Carmel.' Jesse said his facts interfering with our conversation. A conversation that was supposed to be about me and Finn and our relationship. A conversation I did not want to have, especially with my ex-boyfriend.

'Jesse! Stay focused. Tell me, your a guy, why can't men understand us girls and our feelings. And don't tell me it's because we're emotion creatures that overly dramatic and too sensitive, because that is not the problem here.' I watched as Jesse exhaled loudly and pondered on my masked question. I was a intelligent girl why couldn't I understand the male mind. Or in my case, Finn's mind the only thing he ever thought about was me, Glee, football, his mother and video games. There was not much going on up there for me to worry about. And yet I couldn't comprehend the fact that he chose football and popularity, I always knew those would be the thing that tore us away form each other.

'I don't know what to tell you Rach. Men are men, and it seems like Finn cannot understand why love should be more important than popularity. Maybe he is afraid of commitment and being a social outcast. Or maybe he just really doesn't understand you.' Jesse said to me in a nonchalant tone.

I gaped at him. 'He understands me...I think.'

'Rachel it's very simple you see, '_Men hate the things they fear and they fear those things which they do not understand_.'

I raised an eyebrow and tried to keep from scratching his eyes out, I couldn't help but contain the anger boiling up inside of me. 'Finn does not hate me.'

Jesse sighed and rolled his eyes sarcastically, 'I know that. I just mean he hates the idea of losing his popularity, he fears it and doesn't understand why he should chose you instead of it. Sorry if you _misinterpreted _my explanation_.'_ He looked at me cautiously and drank from his cappuccino.

'Sorry. I didn't mean to get so angry. I guess I should work on that.'

'You think.' He mumbled under his breath thinking I didn't hear. I stared at him and decided to let it pass, even thought there was a tugging feeling in my head. But at that same time I realized two things, I was content with my new life at Carmel and if Finn didn't want me it was his loss. Although, I would always miss him and want him I wouldn't give up my dreams for him or any other boy for that matter. So I'd live with everything I was going through, even thought I didn't like it or even welcome it into my life. The second thing I realized was what song Vocal Adrenaline and I were going to be doing for Sectionals, and I know I sound too pompous but we're going to win and that was obvious.

'Rachel. What are you thinking about? You look a bit distracted.' Jesse asked me gently shaking my shoulder.

'Oh nothing. Hey did you guys ever do any theme numbers.' I asked Jesse wondering if my plan was as genius as I thought it was.

'Theme numbers?' He questioned me.

'You know...like how we did a Journey themed number at last years Regionals.' I shuddered a bit at the thought as did Jesse. 'Well something like that.'

'Oh. No I never did that when I was in Vocal Adrenaline.' Jesse stilled stared at me absolutely confused.

I smiled brightly, grabbed his hand and lead him out of the coffee shop we were in. 'Good. Because I have a great idea.'

* * *

Sorry I haven't updated in so long, I've been really busy.

But I'll try and update more often.

Please review, hope you like it.


	6. Every Breath You Take

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

'You know I think I got Finn kinda jealous. I mean did you see his face.' Jesse told me laughing at the top of his lungs as we made our way to Shelby's office.

I took a deep breath angrily and slapped him on the arm. 'No I didn't see, Jesse. Now would you please stop gloating.' I saw him shrug his shoulders from the corner of my eye and laughed. 'Did he really get jealous?' I asked curiously. Not that I cared if he was jealous or not but I think I should be entitled to know what my ex-boyfriend was feeling...right. I mean he hasn't even spoken a word to me for a month, how am I supposed to know how he's doing. But the only reason I care is because I'm so thoughtful.

He nodded slowly and I felt a wonderful satisfaction in my heart. Take that Finn Hudson. 'Well that's not very nice. He probably thing we're a couple now, again.'

Jesse scoffed. 'Knowing you Rachel you're probably_ bubbling with joy_.' He opened the door to Shelby's office and walked in. I stared after him, shocked and slightly embarrassed.

'Am not.' I called after him a bit too defensively.

I heard his laughter ring out gleefully and I stomped my foot on the floor. Pompous fool. He could always see right through me, but then again I could do the same to him.

'Jesse tells me you have an idea for Sectionals. What is it?' Shelby asked me as I walked into her office with her chin in her hands. Jesse had a lively grin on his face and was trying not to look at me in the eyes. I glared at him as I sat in the chair in front of Shelby's desk.

'Well seeings as New Directions is going to try their best at winning Nationals I suggest we step it up a notch.' The only reason they were going to try so hard to win was because they wanted to prove they didn't need me. Sometimes people are so stupid.

Shelby nodded. 'And you think this idea of yours is the solution we need?'

'Precisely. I'm not saying that they will win but I am saying we should brand into their minds that we are the top dogs.' Oh the sweet feeling of conquest, how I love you.

'Okay. So would this apply to Sectionals, Regionals and Nationals?' Shelby asked, confusion lit up her eye and her lips turned down into a grimace.

I smiled widely, trying to lighten up the mood. 'Yes but my first idea is only for Sectionals.'

Shelby looked at me still trying to understand where I was heading with this. 'Well, whats your idea?'

I looked at Jesse and then turned back to face Shelby. 'One word...Phantom.'

* * *

_Every breath you take and every move you make _  
_Every bond you break _  
_Every step you take, I'll be watching you _  
_Every single day and every word you say _  
_Every game you play _  
_Every night you stay, I'll be watching you _  
_Oh can't you see you belong to me? _  
_How my poor heart aches with every step you take _  
_Every move you make and every vow you break _  
_Every smile you fake _  
_Every claim you stake, I'll be watching you _  
_Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace _  
_I dream at night _  
_I can only see your face _  
_I look around but it's you I can't replace _  
_I feel so cold and I long for your embrace _  
_I keep crying baby, baby please _

_Oh can't you see you belong to me? _  
_How my poor heart aches with every step you take _  
_Every move you make _  
_And every vow you break _  
_Every smile you fake _  
_Every claim you stake, I'll be watching you _  
_Every move you make _  
_Every step you take, I'll be watching you, I'll be watching you _  
_Every breath you take _  
_Every move you make _  
_Every bond you-__  
_

'Don't you think that's a bit stalkerish?' Kurt's voice rang out in Finns mind.

Finn turned around and saw Kurt standing a few feet a way with his arms crossed over his chest and an amusing look on his face.

'How long have you been there?' Finn asked angrily, only because Kurt had embarrassed him.

'Only long enough to hear the song. Why? Was there more?' Kurt sat at the foot of his bed and crossed his ankles.

Finn sighed, what was the harm in telling Kurt. Besides maybe he could help him in his situation. 'Well you we're here long enough to hear me talking to myself.'

'Oh no. Poor Finn has gone crazy over Rachel.' Kurt said feigning distress.

'Actually you're not half wrong.' Kurt eyed him skeptically and Finn took a deep breath to explain what was going on. 'I want to win her back. So I was thinking of the best things I could say to a girl like Rachel. 'Cause shes different form other girls and that's why I love her. But what can I tell her to show her I sorry. Then I thought, what the hell why not sing her a song.'

Kurt nodded understandingly. 'So you decided to sing her a song that would scare her away?'

'Huh?' Finn didn't understand what Kurt meant, what was wrong with the song.

'Finn women are sensitive and unexpected. If you do something that might offend them they get angry or sad. Now you don't want that to happen with Rachel do you?' Kurt asked him hoping he'd say no, and knowing him he probably wouldn't even know the correct answer.

Finn cocked his head to the side. 'Um...no.'

'Right!' Kurt exclaimed happily.

'Why would that offend her though?' Finn asked Kurt, he thought Rachel would totally dig this song.

'It's about watching a girl and every move she makes. Best example of this, peeping tom.' Kurt said was if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Finn nodded. 'But what other song can I sing to her? Help, please.' Finn looked at him, pleading with his puppy dog eyes and dopey face.

'Ugh. You know I don't like Rachel.' He presumed Finn would realize that was a no.

'Yeah I guess you don't.' Finn took into account that he would have to win Rachel back on his own. 'Hey Kurt. Why aren't you trying to sabotage me and Rach's relationship? I thought you we're like in love with me or something.'

Kurt laughed in an almost mockingly way. 'Oh stop being such a narcissist Finn. I got over you a long time ago.' Kurt smiled and got up and walked out of the room without another word. Finn stared after him and tried to remember when this happened. Part of him hoped it was before he and his mom moved in with him and Burt. After some time he arose as well and went to the kitchen hoping to find his mom so he could make him a sandwich. Finn realized something in that instant, instead of asking his mom to make him a sandwich, he could ask her for help. His mom was a women maybe she could be of good use to him. Plus maybe if Burt was around they both could be of good use seeing as they were kinda old and knew a lot of good songs.

He made his way into the kitchen and called out to Carole. 'Hey ma, can I ask you a question?'

* * *

Please review, hope you like it.


	7. The Phantom of the Opera

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

'Guys come on. Calm down. We already had our Sectionals and do you remember what the results were. We won! This is not our competition, just relax and enjoy.' Mr. Shue said as they sat down and waited for the singing to begin. Sure they won, and Mr. Shue was gloating away, but his glee clubbers were afraid. Afraid because Vocal Adrenaline would be performing and if they won Sectionals, they would have to got head to head at Regionals, again.

'Mr. Shue we can't relax. We can't go through Regionals with Vocal Adrenaline again, it's like torture.' Mercedes told him.

'They aren't gonna win guys. We have heart, they don't.' He told them as if heart was the only thing that mattered.

'No but they have a secret weapon. Rachel.' Kurt said to him in his usual nonchalant tone. Finns ears perked up at the sound of her name but he didn't mutter a word. 'She's the new Jesse St. James.'

'I resent that.' Finn told them, he stared at them angrily. They couldn't compare Rachel to that ass. He was like a soulless monster, as Rachel liked to put it, and she was a beautiful angel. 'Rachel's nothing like that bastard.'

'Finn!' Mr. Shue scolded him. 'Okay, we'll discuss this later the competitions starting.'

The two team had taken the stage and they took everyone breaths away but the audience knew that Shelby's star was gone, without him I'd be difficult to win. But little did they know, Shelby had a little trick up her sleeve. The second team finished up there performance and the hour that Vocal Adrenaline had was up. Everyone sat back in their previous seats and waited for the last performance, and the most anticipated, to begin.

Everyone waited but suddenly the lights turned off. The room was quiet for a split second and then someone in the audience screamed. Kurt rolled his eyes, he knew that it was probably some melodramatic bitch but he didn't say anything.

The lights turned back on but they were dimmed and low, fog was pouring out on the stage and McKinley glee club titled their heads to the side, along side everyone else, and wondered what in the world was going on.

Just then Rachel, dressed in a very Victorian-esque dress, stepped out onto the stage with a frightened look on her face. Her mouth opened just as the music began.

_In sleep he sang to me_  
_ In dreams he came_  
_ That voice which calls to me and speaks my name_  
_ And do I dream again for now I find_  
_ The Phantom of the Opera is there_  
_ Inside my mind_

'Oh no! Kurt exclaimed. 'They're doing Phantom of the Opera. That's diabolical.'

They all looked at Kurt wondering what in the world he was talking about. Just then Ben stepped out and joined her on stage, his face half hidden behind the Phantoms mask.

**Sing once again with me**  
** Our strange duet**  
** My power over you grows stronger yet**  
** And though you turn from me to glance behind**  
** The Phantom of the Opera is there **  
** Inside your mind**

_Those who have seen your face_  
_ Draw back in fear_  
_ I am the mask you wear_

**It's me they hear...**

_Your_**/My _spirit and_ my**_/your _**v_oice in one combined_**  
**_ The Phantom of the Opera is there_**  
**_ Inside _**_my_**/your _mind_**

The rest of the Carmel glee club joined the duo on stage and sang with them and danced the kind of dance you only saw in movies that took place centuries ago. The dance was slow but graceful. If you watched them you would be memorized by their movements. The judges certainly were, it was like they were under a trance.

Hes there, the phantom of the opera!

_Hes there, the phantom of the opera_

**In all your fantasies, you always knew**  
** that man and mystery . . .**

_ were both in you _

_**And in this labyrinth, **_  
_** where night is blind,**_  
_** the Phantom of the Opera**_  
_** is **_**there**_/here** inside **_**your**_/my** mind**_ . . .

**Sing, my Angel of Music!**

_He's there,_  
_ the Phantom of the Opera _

Rachel began to vocalize, her voice going higher and higher as Ben, as the phantom, commanded her to sing._  
_

** Sing, Sing**  
** Sing for me**  
** Sing, my Angel of music**  
** Sing for me!**

Rachel's voice went so high everyone in the room thought that the light bulbs would explode. The audience clapped, Rachel curtsied and took her place in the middle of the stage.

_Think of me, think of me fondly,_  
_ when we've said goodbye._  
_ Remember me once in a while -_  
_ please promise me you'll try._  
_ When you find that, once again, you long_  
_ to take your heart back and be free -_  
_ if you ever find a moment,_  
_ spare a thought for me_

_ We never said our love was evergreen,_  
_ or as unchanging as the sea -_  
_ but if you can still remember_  
_ stop and think of me . . ._

The Vocal Adrenaline glee clubbers dance in circles and pranced off the stage and danced swiftly down the aisle.

_Think of all the things_  
_ we've shared and seen -_  
_ don't think about the way things_  
_ might have been . . ._

_ Think of me, think of me waking,_  
_ silent and resigned._  
_ Imagine me, trying too hard_  
_ to put you from my mind._  
_ Recall those days_  
_ look back on all those times,_  
_ think of the things we'll never do -_  
_ there will never be a day,_  
_ when I won't think of you . . ._

**Can it be? Can it be Christine?**  
** Bravo!**  
** Long ago, it seems so long ago**  
** How young and innocent we were...**  
** She may not remember me,**  
** but I remember her...**

_Flowers fades,_  
_ The fruits of summer fade,_  
_ They have their seasons, so do we_  
_ but please promise me, that sometimes_  
_ you will think of me!_

Finn listened as Rachel did this weird vocalizing thing that Finn thought was really cool, plus she totally rocked it. But the lyrics meant something to him. It reminded him of their relationship, he just wanted Rachel to remember the great times they had, he looked at Rachel intensely hoping she would meet his stare but Rachel didn't care or maybe she just didn't notice, she only noticed how everyone eyes focused on her and only her. She wasn't being obnoxious, she was just glad that for once someone listened to her. and that her suggestions paid off because by the look of everyone's gaping faces she knew that they had won.

Rachel curtsied again and then bowed along with her glee members as they joined her on stage. She ran off the stage and waited for the judges to make their decisions, she ran into Jesse's arms and he twirled her in a circle.

'You. Were. _Amazing._' He said, exaggerating the syllables.

Rachel bit her bottom lip, 'Better that Sarah Brightman?' She asked nervously because she knew Sarah was the original Christine, she could never complete or even come close to Sarah's performance. If anyone was going to tell her the truth it would be Jesse.

Jesse looked at confused but then smiled and placed his finger under her chin, 'A thousand times better.' He told her honestly. Rachel giggled happily and leaped into his arms once more.

Meanwhile, as this was going on, Finn made his way to where he saw Rachel run off to, but he found something he didn't want to see. Rachel was looking down at the floor, she looked upset of at least she looked nervous. She must have asked Jesse a question because he looked taken aback but he recovered quickly. His face filled up with honesty and he placed his finger under Rachel's chin and said something. He said something that made Rachel very, very happy because she jumped up and wrapped her legs around Jesse's waist. Jesse began to laugh and he put his hand in the back of Rachel's head and stroked her hair.

Finn's brow furrowed but then he understood what was really going on. Jesse and Rachel were back together. Finn took one last look at Rachel before walking back to his teammates, he was too late. Jesse mended Rachel's broken heart, again, just as he was going to try and win her back. He lost Rachel and he was losing his mind without her.

'Hey Rachel was someone just here?' Jesse asked her as he put her back on the floor.

'I didn't see anyone.' She told him looking around.

'Oh well, come on we don't want to miss the judges decision. Do we?' He took her hand and Rachel pulled him close to her.

'No we don't.'They walked out of the backstage and took their places.

Vocal Adrenaline had won and now it would be a rivalry that Rachel was determined to win.

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	8. Higher Love

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

'So...' Shelby began.

'Yes?' I asked. I was a bit confused, why was I here in Shelby's office. The only time I was ever here was to discuss musicals numbers but the already talked about that the day after Sectionals. Everything was planned out. So why was I here? Was I in trouble? Oh no! Shes kicking me off the team. Great, after I worked so hard to get where I was.

'Would you...I'm so bad at this.' She laughed without humor and put her head in her hands. I looked at her curiously and waited for her to continue. 'Would you like to go out for dinner later? Maybe to talk, just the two of us.' She asked me shyly.

I stared at her in complete shock. It took me a while to talk and regain my thoughts but I eventually did, 'I thought you said you didn't want to have a mother daughter relationship?'

Shelby sighed, 'I know what I said but...I don't know. After spending all this time with you I feel a connection. A connection I never felt before. Maybe I was wrong, so what do you say? Dinner, at Breadsticks, with me?'

I smiled at her as best as I could, I really did want to go with her but I didn't want her to think I was some idiot or annoying person if we tried to make conversation. 'I'd love too. I mean It'd be fun, right?'

Shelby smiled back at me and I could honestly see that she was going to try and make and effort. Her smile and effort reminded me of Mr. Shue and I suddenly felt very homesick. I stayed after school in the auditorium marveling in its glory, but still missed the McKinley auditorium. Not really, just a little. I loved Carmel, I loved how everyone accepted me and loved me. People appreciated my talent and found my ambition to be something that should be admired. I was the Queen of this school because people here weren't buffoons or cavemen, they were intelligent and respectful people.

And the respected me, they loved me. So why was I so unhappy. I should be glowing, I should be ecstatic and jubilant. But I wasn't. Why? What could have changed? We won Sectionals and we were going to win Regionals for sure, I had the utmost confidence.

But even though I was sure, I was still unhappy. I stood up and sighed deeply before heading outside into the warm afternoon sun.

* * *

It was very quiet at the table, Shelby was looking down at her hands and avoiding me at any given cost. I was staring at the bubbles in my soda and watching as little by little some of the bubbles floated to the top and I focused on the music in the background talking about 'higher love'.

I didn't understand why Shelby wanted me here if she wasn't going to talk to me. It didn't make sense and at the time I knew this but I still accepted her offer. I think I'm still longing for that relationship I was deprived of as a child. But she made up her mind and blew me off. I was okay with it for a while but now being here with her it makes me wonder if I really am okay with the decision she made.

'Rachel?' I heard Shelby's voice break my train of thought.

I looked up and found her staring down at me in confusion. 'Yes?' I asked her.

'Are you not hungry, your not eating?' She asked me worriedly.

'No, I guess I'm not hungry.' I told her defeated.

'Oh well I guess we can talk now.' My eyes widened. The way she said made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

'About what?' I asked with a quiver in my voice.

'About boys. Or more particularly that really tall boy from New Directions. Whats his name, Frank?' She asked looking up at the ceiling thinking.

'Finn. You mean Finn. Why do we need to talk about him?' I didn't really understand why we needed to talk about him, we weren't even in a relationship. Why did it matter.

'Rachel. I know you still like him. Ben told me.' She said in a very condescending tone.

'Oh.' I said in a very low tone. I told him that because I thought he would keep it a secret. It was a very long time before anyone spoke. 'Ben can't keep secrets can he?'

Shelby laughed, 'No, I guess I should have warned you about that.' We laughed together and I felt the connection Shelby was feeling. 'Rachel I just wanted to tell you that you should follow your heart. Follow you dreams because if you don't you'll regret it for the rest of you life.'

I sighed, 'I know. I've been trying to tell myself that but I don't know where Finn is in my life. Is he a part of my dreams or is the love I have with him just a dream. I don't know what to do, what do you think Shelby?' I shocked myself a little by asking her but I was stuck in a rut and I really did need help.

Shelby looked at me with an alarmed look on her face she recovered and laughed nervously. I waited for a few seconds before she stopped and again looked at me shocked. 'Your serious?' She asked in an unbelieving tone.

I nodded and waited for her to continue.

'I'm not good at this Rachel, you shouldn't be asking me.'

'Please Shelby, I need your help.' I pleaded with her.

Shelby sighed took a sip of her wine and looked straight at me with a nervous look on her face. I smiled at her encouragingly knowing this was the start of a beautiful friendship.

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	9. Confrontations

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

'Oh my God.' Kurt said, his eyes widening in amazement. He, Finn and their parents sat in their usual Breadsticks booth, their order had just come in and they were preparing to eat but not before Kurt say Rachel walking towards them with none other that Shelby Corcoran.

'What?' They all asked, excluding Kurt. Finn turned and saw her walking toward them a wide smile on her face. Finn panicked and stood up and tried to go to the bathroom, but he bumped into Rachel and knocked her to the floor.

Rachel fell to the floor in a daze and was helped up by Burt. 'Hey there...Rachel, right?' He asked her.

'Rachel. Yes. That's me, Rachel.' She smiled and tried not to look to uncomfortable. 'Hi Carole.' She looked passed Finn for a second and greeted his mother.

'Hi Rachel. Who are you with?' She asked smiling widely.

Rachel turned and presented Shelby, 'This is Shelby Corcoran, she's my-'

'Mother.' Shelby interrupted. 'I'm her mother.'

Rachel smiled, she was going to say Glee coach but mother sounded a lot better. Rachel smiled but said nothing and simply nodded approvingly.

'So are things going Carole? Good I hope.' Rachel asked her turning away from her mother trying to avoid Finn and his angry glare.

'Oh its going absolutely fine. Thank you for asking. And you?' She asked genuinely interested. Carole always liked Rachel, she was good for Finn and Carole knew they still loved each other seeing as they were both fidgeting like crazy.

'Carmel is wonderful. I made tons of friends.' Kurt scoffed, which earned him a upset glace from his father, but nevertheless she continued. 'And we just won Sectionals so I am really excited about that.' She said smiling her Rachel Berry Smile.

'Oh, and don't forget to mention you're in a relationship.' Finn said a little angrily. Kurt smiled but in a 'Oh no he didn't' kind of way.

'Relationship?' Rachel, Shelby and Carole said at the same time. Carole smiled at Shelby but asked Rachel the question that was on everyone's mind.

'You have a boyfriend?'

Rachel shook her head and looked up at Finn, astonished. The room was suddenly very small and Rachel had no clue what she should say, 'If I do this is the first time I have heard about it.' She said the shock in her voice was brutally honest.

'Really? 'Cause I could have sworn you and Jesse St. Jackass-'

'Finn!' Carole interrupted but Finn continued.

'- Were hugging and giggling and Sectionals. So I'm pretty sure it clear that your in a relationship.' He said too upset to even look at Rachel.

'Finn...' Rachel began but was cut off by Finn's ranting. She wanted to tell him he was wrong and that she and Jesse were nothing, nothing compared to the love she still held for Finn.

'After everything he did to you, everything he put you through you just take him back with open arms. That's so like you Rachel, you'd do anything to be loved, anything for attention. But that's totally cool, 'cause I just knew you'd hurt me like that, i knew it.' Finn finished angrily, his eyes were looking down at Rachel in disgust.

Rachel nodded and tried to smile, but it ended up looking like a sad frown. After everything they'd been through she would have expected him to care for her and not look at her with those eyes. Eyes that held contempt and disgust, eyes that she had to face every single day in McKinley. 'Well, you were the one who broke up with me.' She said in a broken voice and walked out of the restaurant without another glance to anyone. Finn stood gaping after her and Shelby watched her helplessly.

'She's not dating Jesse you know.' Shelby said after a moments silence, she broke the tension in the air and Finn looked from the door Rachel walked out of to her. 'She hasn't been with anyone since you two broke up.' Shelby walked out of the room but not before she said her goodbyes to everyone and sent a threatening glace to Finn that said, _you come near her again and I'll kill you_.

But Finn was still focusing in what Shelby had told him. He had to believe her, her voice it was so truthful and full of honesty, Finn didn't know how to react the news he just received. Should he have felt happy that they were not dating or angry that he ever thought they were. But then Finn realized he needed to feel remorseful and regretful. He said some pretty hurtful things to Rachel. Things he just couldn't take back with a simple apology.

The food was just getting cold and Kurt decided to start eating and recommended that Finn should do he same. So he sat and every few seconds he would stare up and look at the front door to see if Rachel would waltz back in there like her normal self. But nothing happened.

Rachel didn't walk back into the restaurant, she didn't call, she wasn't walking on his front porch like Finn had hoped. She wasn't going to come crawling back to him, Rachel had changed. Maybe she grew a backbone, or maybe she just came to her senses about herself.

Whatever it was, she wasn't the drama enthused girl Finn knew.

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	10. Nine Crimes

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

Burt awoke to a loud knocking at his front door. 'Who could that be?' He asked himself out loud, he lept out of bed and began to put his slippers on when he saw Carole stir beside him, 'No honey don't get up, I've got it.'

Carole sat up and yawned, 'Too late, I'm already awake.' Burt smiled and kissed his wife's forehead before leaving the room, 'Hey! Wait up I'll go with you!' She called out to him.

They walked downstairs together Burt wast first, Carole trailed behind him. The knocking on the front door was frantic and chilling, even Kurt heard. He made his way to the front door and eyed Burt and Carole suspiciously.

'What's going on?' He asked, 'Who died?'

Finn, who had also woken up, groggily spoke, 'Someone died?'

Burt sighed, 'No one is dead.' His brow furrowed, 'At least I don't think so.' He opened the door and was taken aback when he saw who it was.

'Ben?' He asked the figure that only he was able to see, Finn, Carole and Kurt only saw a man in the shadows.

'Burt. I don't mean to intrude but I need to ask you a question?' He spoke with such fear Burt couldn't hep but put a hand on his shoulder and lead him inside.

'Of course son, what is it?' He questioned him.

But none of them understood what was going on, so Carole decided to speak out, 'Burt? Who is this?'

'Oh, this is Ben. He comes by the shop every so often cuz he always screws up that beautiful car he has. That reminds me, how's the engine?' He asked inclining his head.

'Fine Burt. I just...that's not why I'm here.' He sighed and took a deep breath before speaking again. 'I need to know where Rachel is.'

'Berry?' Finn asked stepping up from behind Kurt and his mother.

Ben eyed him with nothing but disgust. Finn thought, no he knew, it was because Rachel had told him every detail of his and Rachel's past relationship and probably because he knew what happened at Breadsticks two nights ago.

'She's the only Rachel either one of us know.' He said rolling his eyes a bit.

'Why?' Carole asked, 'Is something wrong?'

'Everything's wrong.' Ben said before sinking to the sofa and crying into his hands. When he finally looked up his eyes were red and puffy, 'Rachel s-she st-stor-med out of th-the m-m-mus-music...'

Carole rushed to his side and calmly soothed him, 'Honey it's okay. Just relax, take a deep breath. Relax' He listened to her and focused on breathing. When he was finally under control, well at least his stutter the tears were a whole different story, he began to speak again, 'It's Rachel she...we were at the music store. She decided that she was going to make gift baskets and she told me to meet her at the store to give her my opinion on her CD selections.'

'I arrived, I helped, everything was going smoothly. Until _they_ showed up.' He said coldly.

'Who?' Kurt asked him suddenly very interested.

'Your teammates...the cheerleaders. But one of them, it was all her fault.'

'Who? Was she blond, maybe it was Quinn, or maybe it was-' Kurt said but was interrupted by Ben, who had stopped crying, when he told him she was a brunette. 'Oh then it was Santana.'

'Yeah, I guess so. She is a major b-i-t-c-h.' Ben said to all of them with a hint of disdain in his voice.

'We know.' Kurt and Finn said a the same time.

'Anyway, she said some things. Things that made me want to kill her in that very spot. I don't know how Rachel didn't just punch in the face. She stood her ground and took insult after insult, that girl didn't break her. Until...Until she said those four words that made Rachel break down in tears.'

'What did she say?' Carole asked. Burt looked at her, she was very into this drama but who could blame her, it was all very enticing and even though Burt would never admit it he was wondering the same.

Ben's eyes darted back and forth between Carole and Finn, 'I don't think I should tell you. It's very private and I don't think you'd like to know.' Carole nodded, understanding, but couldn't help but think it was about her son.

'I'd never seen her so sad.' Ben stated again, tears forming in his eyes. 'She looked like she was about to die, like if she was given the chance...she'd...kill herself.' Ben began to cry, he covered his eyes with his hand. 'She yelled at them to leave, she was a manic yelling and screaming and throwing her arms about like a crazed, insane person. For a moment I saw fear in their eyes, fear and nothing else, they ran out like she told them. But just because they were gone, it didn't erase what the girl had told Rachel. She cried on my shoulder and I held, I could do nothing but hold her. But she was saying these things, I don't even think she knew she was saying them. They were words filled with nothing but anger and fear and frustration.'

'What happened after that?' Kurt asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

'She looked up at me and told me that he-' Ben gestured to Finn, '-Never loved her and that no one loved her. He lied to her and hurt her so, so she'd do the same thing to him and she'd make sure she'd not only hurt him, she'd hurt all of them. And that's when she left she ran out the door and I followed but she was running to fast I couldn't catch her. She's still gone I don't know where she is.'

'Oh my God.' Carole put her hand over her mouth and felt her eyes being to sting. Finn looked down at him, he couldn't speak, he couldn't even move. All he could think about was Rachel and how their love was turning into nothing but pain and insanity. Nothing felt right for Finn anymore. He couldn't breath, he couldn't think and if anything happened to Rachel he didn't know what he'd do.

'How long ago was this?' Burt asked.

'It happened at around 8:30.' He said looking up at the ceiling.

'It's already almost three in the morning and you barely come here!' Finn yelled down him angrily.

Ben, who had forgotten Finn was still there, stood up and yelled back at him, 'Excuse me! But Jesse, Shelby and I have been looking for all night. We even contacted the police but no one can find her. You were one of our last resorts.'

'Last resort. She's my girlfriend!' Finn growled angrily at him. Kurt's eyes opened widely and he shook his head as Burt and Carole looked at him in shock.

Ben scoffed, '_Ex _girlfriend.' He said in a cold and low voice.

Finn looked at him, no longer angry, just hurt. It was true. Rachel didn't belong to him anymore but he still loved her.

'I'll call Artie. They're friends, he could help us.' Kurt said grabbing his phone and going to his room to get a coat.

'Hey Kurt me and Carole are gonna be in the car, hurry up.' Burt got the coat that was draped over the sofa and pulled it on, 'Don't worry Ben, we'll help you find her.' Carole and Burt walked out the door.

Kurt returned to the living room and smiled, 'Artie said he'll help us.'

'Great.' Ben said happy that everyone was actually concerned for Rachel.

With one last smile he walked out the door, 'Come on Finn, Burt's waiting.' He yelled from outside.

Finn, in a daze, walked towards the closet and pulled out a coat. Ben was about to leave when he turned around and saw Finn looking down at the floor.

He raised his eyebrows at him, 'Don't you even want to know what she told Rachel?' He asked, biting his lip. Finn's eyes never left the floor.

Ben half laughed, half scoffed, 'I slept with Finn.' He said without any feeling or remorse.

Finn'; eyes widened and he looked up but all he saw was the front door closing.

* * *

Please review, hope you like it.


	11. Lost

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

I sat on the railing of the freeway overpass, I think that's what you call it. I might be smart, but I don't know the detail of every little thing. The part of the freeway where I now sat was under construction, nobody came through here so I knew I was all alone. Yes, all alone, now and maybe for a very long time. But that didn't matter, what did matter at the moment was that I was very high up above the ground. And I could fall any time I wanted to.

But as I concentrated on not falling I heard a noise, I tore my eyes away from the glowing moon and very intimidating freeway floor to look in the direction of the noise. I expected it to be a small animal or a random stranger passing in the highway but it was someone I knew, I could sense it.

'Oh, It's you.' I turned to see him, smiling at me almost as if he were waiting for this moment for a very long time.

'Hi Rachel.' He said shyly, he stopped for a moment, his hands moving off the wheels of his chair so he could push his glasses up. 'How have you been?' He asked me still just as shy.

I laughed bitterly. How have I been? Even I didn't know, I didn't know anything anymore. I realized he was right next to me, waiting patiently for my answer. With a heavy sigh I answered, 'If you asked me a two weeks ago I would have said I was happy, the happiest I had been since...ever. If you asked me two nights ago I would have said shocked and a bit hurt. And if you asked me about seven hours ago I would have said blissful. But now...now I'm angry, unhappy, suffering, fearful, vengeful and aching.'

I felt his hand reach for mine, 'Rachel, come down from there. It's not safe.' My hands gripped the railing tighter, the cold steel burned my skin.

'What do I care!' I screamed. 'Nobody cares!'

'I care.' He said in a soft tone, I turned to see a hint of love in his eyes, 'And what about your dads, and all your friends. They care too.'

I looked away from him because if I stared any longer I might break down in tears, 'You say it's not safe up here.' I said in a low voice, I could barely hear myself. 'But I've never felt safer. If I leave this place I'll walk into a world that's not safe, a world that continues to hurt and harm me. Let me be Artie. Please.'

'Fine. Stay up there.' Artie gave in, he knew he couldn't plead with me when I already had my mind made up. 'Why don't we talk about how you're feeling?' He suggested calmly.

'Alright.' I answered him, in a voice just as calm as his. I expected him to ask me another question but he said nothing. My guess was he wanted me to express myself. So I did. 'I'm angry because he lied and never bothered to tell me the truth, I'm unhappy for the same reasons. Fearful that I might be hurt again like this in the future. I want to hunt down and destroy Santana...and Finn. And all in all I am just bruised and broken. I ache all over, inside and out and I am just waiting here wondering why in the world I continue to allow myself to feel this tortured.'

I wasn't looking at Artie, so I couldn't see his expression. I didn't want to. His eyes would claw at me and I would feel ashamed and insignificant. I had spoken words that I never told anyone, words that had so much honesty that even I was afraid of them. I wasn't always this vulnerable, well, I was, but people couldn't see it though. They thought I was cool and confident but, then again, people also thought I was an experiment that needed to be analyzed and observed.

I was only human. I was just a girl, lonely and unhappy, searching for something in this world that was worth living for. Worth fighting for. And Finn was that reason. He was the light in the darkness, the fire in the freezing cold, the passion in my heart. He was everything, and everything we had been through only made us stronger. But the thing that made me strong and built me up, was the one thing that could tear me down.

'Rachel. That has got to be the most...stupid thing I have ever heard before in my life.' I turned to see Artie staring at me, not gaping, staring at me like I was an idiot. 'I mean, I understand he hurt you. I completely understand but Rachel you can't just give up on everything you have. Come on Rach, take a better look at your life.'

I furrowed my brow, 'What do I have without Finn?' I asked feebly.

'Don't you understand Rach. You didn't have Finn, first of all you two weren't even together at the time, second you aren't together now and finally I think your just mad because it was Santana. If it had been Quinn or maybe even Brittany you wouldn't have been as upset as you are now.'

A rush of anger flowed through my veins, burning by body and boiling my blood. 'That is not true. You don't know anything.' I said through my teeth.

'Okay, then please explain.' He suggested, his voice was frustrated and upset.

'I'm upset because...' I began but didn't have the will to finish.

'Because?' Artie urged. I didn't speak as I stared blankly at my hands. 'Rachel why are you upset!' He commanded me to tell him.

'I'm upset because it wasn't me!' I yelled out angrily, the tears began to flow down my cheeks, forming a puddle a the bottom of my chin. I raised a hand to wipe the moisture away but I lost balance and if it wasn't for Artie lurching forward and grabbing my waist I would have fallen. I shook off the sudden adrenaline rush and continued like Artie's eyes asked me to, 'It could have been anyone. But it wasn't me and I wanted it to be me. And I know that we aren't together but that doesn't mean I ever stopped loving him. Maybe, if he had just told me, if he was just honest with me I would have been able to make my peace with it. But now...now I've lost all faith in everything.'

Artie looked up at me with sad eyes, 'You think so.'

I shook my head, 'I know so.'

'Rachel he loves you, he never stops talking about you. And I know he's sorry for not telling you, I bet he regrets it with every fiber in his body.' He told me so truthfully it would be a sin to not believe him.

'You think so?' I asked, I couldn't contain the hope in my voice.

Artie laughed, 'I know so.'

I smiled up at him, 'Rach. Please get down. If you jump it won't do anything Rachel, it's not high enough. You'll probably break some bones or end up in a wheel chair and I don't won't that to happen to you.' He smiled sadly at me, his eyes just as sad.

'Artie the moment you came over here I knew I was doing the wrong thing. I knew I was being stupid. I didn't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am so sorry.' I jumped over the railing and fell into his lap. He held me and stroked my hair the same way Ben or Jesse did. He was so warm, I suddenly realized how cold I was. I shivered and he shook me gently.

'We should get going.' He told me, lifting my head up to meet his eyes.

'Yeah.' I said nodding my head delicately. I stood up and began to push him towards the place he just came from, he turned his head to the side just enough to face me.

'You have your car right? Cuz my mom gave me a lift.' He asked in his usual tone. I threw my head back and heard my laughter ring out through the empty highway.

'Oh God Artie, I really missed you.' I said sadly.

'Yeah I know. I have that affect on the ladies.' He said confidently. I shook my head and smiled widely. Next stop, home.

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	12. Everything

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

She walked through the door, pushing Artie in front of her, and everyone looked up. Finn stood, along with everyone else, and hoped that she would walk into his arms.

But she didn't.

She ran into her fathers arms, they cradled her like she was a child. Hiram and Leroy were sure, for that one second, she was a child again, looking for assistance and love. And nothing mattered to them, only that she was safe. Rachel was passed onto Shelby, she stroked her hair softly and suddenly realized what it was like to be a mother. Ben held her too, he kissed her forehead after looking into her eyes to make sure it was actually her.

And finally there was Jesse. He looked at her, only for a second, held her in his arms gently and left the house. He walked out the door casually, like it was the most normal in the world. But it wasn't, because they found Rachel, he should be overjoyed...so why wasn't he.

'Jesse.' Rachel whispered helplessly as he left, she tried to go after him but Artie caught her arm.

'He just needs time Rach.' He said as low as he could so no one else could hear but that didn't matter because Rachel still left. It was a few minutes before she came back, she was looking down at the floor her shoulders were slumped like she had just lost a very important competition, the front door shut very gently but the sound echoed throughout the room.

Everyone turned to her once again, Shelby walked towards her and lifted her chin up, 'Honey?' She asked her softly.

Rachel looked up at her, pale faced and blank eyes, 'Tea?' She gasped, 'I think I want some tea. Does anyone else want some?' But before anyone could answer she left the room.

Everyone stared after her, it seemed like the only thing anyone in the room could do was stare at Rachel. Maybe it was because no one wanted to look at the other and know it was their fault that Rachel had almost done the unthinkable. Because each one of them had a little part in it, some more than others.

Rachel walked into the very familiar kitchen but the walls seemed to surround her, they trapped her, and she let the sobs that she was keeping in escape. She fell to the floor, to keep herself up the grabbed the counter but she fell nevertheless, bringing a stack of pots and pans along with her.

Everyone in the living room darted their eyes to the kitchen, Hiram stood up and hurried off, Leroy followed.

'Maybe we should go.' Mr. Shue suggested.

'Yeah, maybe you should!' Ben suddenly exclaimed.

Everyone looked at him but he didn't care, he just stood up and walked to the kitchen. 'I'm sorry about him. He just...really loves Rachel.' Shelby sighed, 'He thinks all of this is your fault.' Shelby motioned to the New Directions glee club.

'What? It's not our fault she wanted to kill herself.' Santana exclaimed. Quinn nodded beside her and mumbled her agreement.

Shelby looked down at them in disgust. 'Do you know what a family is?' She asked them, no one answered, 'Well of course you wouldn't because your not a family. You all say you are, your all say your one big happy family, but at best your a sick, twisted, dysfunctional family. You bring each other down, you hurt and damage each other, that's not a family. And the worst thing about that is, is Rachel was the shunned one. The one no one cared for or loved.'

'Rachel was our friend. We loved her.' Finn said to her, 'I loved her.'

'But you were her boyfriend. It's different with you.' Finn flinched at were.

'Rachel was just as much as this family as Quinn is, or Kurt, or Tina.' Mr. Shue proudly announced.

'I'm sorry Will but she wasn't and I bet a part of you knows that.' She replied sitting down. Mr. Shue opened his mouth to speak but Quinn beat him.

'She was never a part of our group.' Quinn said, 'She left us. She walked out on us.'

Ben walked into the room and snorted, 'She only left because of all the terrible things you all said to her,' He said and fell into the love seat next to Shelby. 'Poor Rachel. Something Jesse said must have hurt her.' He told her, only her.

Finn gritted his teeth, 'What?' He growled.

Everyone looked at him as he ran out of the house. All saw Finn was red, how dare Jesse. How dare he hurt her. 'Hey asshole!' He yelled at the retreating figure, who was halfway down the street, Jesse turned around, he didn't look upset he looked like he was expecting Finn.

'What did you say to her?' He asked, his voice full of anger.

'The truth.' Jesse stated, 'Something you could never do with her.' The rest of the glee club followed him and stood behind him as he spoke.

Finn to a step forward, warning Jesse but Jesse did care and he continued, 'You wanna know what the truth is? The truth is, you're the best thing in the world for her,' Finn furrowed his brow, 'You make her so happy, so relaxed. But you only use her and lie. And I don't know why you do that. She told me everything you did last year. You used her so she could join glee again, you kissed and said it was a mistake, you broke up with her to find your inner rock star.

'You did so many things that hurt her. And you know why she's upset about finding out about you and Santana. Not because it was Santana. It could have been anyone. _Anyone_. But wasn't Rachel. The truth is, the Goddamn, fucking truth is...you are the one thing in the whole world, the one person, that can make her happy. But your also the one thing that can break her.'

Finn stared down at him in complete shock, Jesse brushed past him and made his way into the house. He slammed the door so hard the whole house shook.

'Do think he's right?' Kurt asked.

'Who gives a fuck.' Santana said. Finn turned to her.

'Shut up you slut.' Santana scoffed as the rest of the club gasped, 'Shelby was right. We're not a family. No matter how many times we say we are, we're not. Rachel was the the thing that made us good. Rachel was the thing that made us a family. She's gone and she's never coming back.' Finn said to all of them but mainly talking to himself. Realizing the truth.

He sighed, and took the place of Jesse as the retreating figure.

* * *

Please review, hope you like it.


	13. Dilemma

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

'Rachel. I have to talk to you.' Ben said as he walked into her room.

'Oh my God.' He exclaimed as he took in the disastrous mess that covered every inch of the room, 'What happened to this place?'

'I'm not sure.' Rachel said popping her head out from underneath the covers.

'Rachel what's going on?' Ben asked as he sat at the edge of her bed, 'It's been two weeks since you found out about Finn and whore, haven't you gotten over it?'

'Kind of.' She whispered, 'A little. I'm just confused. I almost did something really stupid. I guess I'm just suffering from that traumatic event.'

'No stupid. You're just suffering from a broken heart.' He said smiling down at her but then he remembered why he was here and his he frowned. 'Rachel we need to talk.'

Rachel noticed his sudden change of demeanor and sat up, she combed her hair like she was in some kind of important meeting and nodded her head so Ben could continue.

'Rachel I'm moving.' He said sadly.

'Moving?' Rachel whimpered, 'What? _No!_ Ben you can't move, you're my best friend.' She exclaimed, tears forming in her eyes from both sadness and anger.

'I know. My parents are making me move.'

'You parents suck!' She yelled. Ben smiled but began to cry just like the girl in front of him.

'I'm only going to be a couple towns away.' He said, wiping the tears from his eyes, 'So you could come visit. But I won't be able to go to Carmel anymore. I registered in another school.'

'Why are you moving?' Rachel asked, her head in her hands.

'I don't know.' He moved up to sit next to her. 'My dad said it's because he wants to be closer to his job.'

'Screw his job.' She mumbled in his shoulder. 'You could live here.' She told him hopefully.

'My parents wouldn't allow it.'

'What about Regionals.?' She asked, she had so many question. Too many to count but right now she just needed to know if she'd have him for the next three weeks.

Sighing he buried his head in Rachel's hair. 'I'm leaving on Friday.'

Rachel choked, 'That's in three days. You're going to leave the team.'

'Rachel listen to me. You are going to win, with or without me.' Rachel pushed him away and jumped off the bed, Ben bit him lip, 'Don't think of this as goodbye, I'm not going to be that far only about thirty minutes. Okay?'

Rachel knew she couldn't fight it anymore so she nodded and wiped the tears away from her cheeks, 'Besides we already sold the house to my cousin.'

'Cousin?' Rachel asked, she didn't know he had a cousin.

'Yeah. He used to go to an all-boy school in Westerville.' He said smiling.

'He's gay too, so don't worry about him coming on to you. His name is Blaine, you'd love him.'

* * *

So it was tough. Rachel dreaded watching Ben drive away. As much as she was going to miss him, it wasn't like she would never see him again. Whenever she needed him, or whenever she just wanted to see him all she would have to do is jump in her car and knock on his door.

And Ben was right.

She did love Blaine.

If he wasn't gay she would have attacked him by now. But sadly he was. And as it turned out, the ability to sing ran in the family.

Blaine tried out for Ben's spot on Vocal Adrenaline and he got it. So now the team was back on track with their captains and Blaine was starting to become Rachel's other best friend, she couldn't chose over Ben she loved them both.

Seeing as Blaine told everything about his past to Rachel, from the bullying and name calling to the fear of leaving his house in the morning, Rachel decided it was best if she told Blaine about her ghosts as well.

After an hour of recounting every dramatic event and slushy in the face, Blaine sat wide eyed in front of Rachel.

'Wow.' He said after a few seconds.

'Yeah. It's a lot to take in.' She told him encouraging him to give her back some feedback.

'Tell me about it.' He mumbled. Rachel smiled ever so slightly and Blaine took a few more seconds before he commented on her confession.

'You're telling me they threw ice cold beverages at you?' He asked. Rachel nodded.

'And Finn is real?' He asked. Rachel furrowed her brow but still nodded. 'Is the whole glee club real?'

Rachel stared at him incredulously, 'Are you questioning my sanity?'

'It just seems like there all very selfish. Very, very selfish.'

'It seems that way doesn't it.' Rachel said with a smile in her voice. 'But I love them all and I would never wish them harm. For some strange, irrational reason that I can't, and never could, understand.'

'Okay, I am totally questioning your sanity now.' He exclaimed lifting her up and throwing her on the bed. She giggled and he laid down next to her, the two teens looked up at the ceiling.

'You are too crazy.' He said under his breath.

'I know.' She turned to him and laid on her side. 'So... what do you think we should do for Regionals, Rent, Wicked or West Side Story?' She asked in her usual chipper mood.

Blaine blinked his eyes and sat up, 'Rachel?'

'Yes?' She asked, confused.

'You do know that you have two choices right. If you stay in Carmel and you win Regionals, your _friends_ will have all the more reason to hate you and you can never go back to McKinley, ever. But if you leave now they will probably love just as much as you love them and you could probably beat Carmel.' Blaine said locking eyes with Rachel, there was a look in Rachel's eyes and a wave of realization washed over Blaine. 'But you already knew all of this, didn't you?'

Rachel had thought about this every night before she fell asleep. Ben never noticed her discomfort when they spoke about beating New Directions and deep down inside Rachel hadn't noticed it either, well not until she thought about it. Blaine had been the first one to really think about it, she didn't know how but he did.

Rachel didn't move, she didn't blink. 'What do I do?'

* * *

Please review, hope you like it.


	14. Always

I don't own any characters from glee.

* * *

They were practicing in the auditorium when it happened. Even though Rachel didn't even notice it was happening.

'Rachel, are you okay?' Blaine asked as he rushed over to her side.

'Yeah, I think so.' She was on the floor when he opened her eyes, the last thing she remembered was hitting the floor, 'What happened?' She asked as she rubbed her suddenly very sore head.

'Oh God, Rachel, your bleeding.' Blaine breathed out, as blood dripped from her nose, his hand over his lips. He and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline rushed out of the building but Rachel didn't know why they were acting so dramatically, she felt fine. It wasn't like she needed stitches or a cast, it was a just nosebleed.

And she mumbled it's just a nosebleed all the way to the hospital.

They arrived at the hospital and Blaine demanded, with fiery eyes, that she had to be seen by a doctor. After a quick MRI and usual doctor check up Rachel was allowed to change back into her normal clothes.

'Stupid gown.' She grunted as she changed. After she was done a nurse popped her head in the door and told her that she needed to go to the doctor office to speak to him. Rachel didn't know why she had to go but she went, cursing Blaine the whole way there. She tapped softly on the door and a voice called to for her to enter. She opened the door slowly, and saw a very young, handsome doctor sitting behind a desk reading, what Rachel presumed to be, her profile.

'Hello?' She asked.

'Hello, Rachel.' The doctor said standing, 'I'm Dr. Roberts.'

Rachel nodded and took a seat when Dr. Roberts asked her to sit, 'So Rachel, the MRI said nothing, you're perfectly fine.'

Rachel smiled smugly. She told Blaine she felt fine.

'But...' He began, 'I did notice a significant weight change since your last visit. Are you on a diet?'

Rachel shook her head, 'I was on one last summer. I hadn't meant to lose any weight this year.'

'Well you did?' He said, Dr. Roberts took off his glasses and leaned back in his chair, 'Rachel, your friend, Blaine is it, spoke to me about you. He said that you have been acting differently.'

'I don't know how he would have noticed that, we've only known each other for a month.' Rachel said a bit defensively.

'A month is a pretty long time.' He said. 'Tell me Rachel, have _you_ been feeling any differently?'

Rachel blinked her eyes twice, 'No.'

'You hesitated Rachel.'

'I was just thinking.' She said a bit glumly.

'You didn't seem to sure of yourself either.' He observed but Rachel didn't speak. 'How much sleep have you been getting?' Rachel shrugged, 'Do have aches or pains? Are you nauseous? Do have have headaches? Do you have any hobbies, friends?'

'Vocal Adrenaline is my hobby and I have many friends at school and in the glee club.' She said with a sharp voice.

'Okay. How much have you been going out lately, a lot?' But Rachel was back to being quiet. 'Rachel I can't help you if you don't talk to me.'

'I thought you were a medical doctor.' She snapped.

'And I thought you were a smart girl.' He said. 'And if you were, you'd tell what's wrong with you.'

'There is nothing wrong with me.' Rachel hissed. How dare he examine her like she was a part of an experiment. How dare he treat her with no respect.

'Well if your not going to talk to me I'm going to have to suggest therapy for you.' He said pulling out a paper from his desk drawer. Rachel's eyes widened in horror.

'No.' She hissed, 'You can't. I'm not crazy.'

'Well then... talk to me.' He said as he leaned back in his chair. Rachel sighed and jolted upright.

'Fine. Yes to all your questions. Aches, pains, headaches, trouble sleeping, nauseousness-'

'Exhaustion, changes in behavior, and you've noticed that you've been working a bit too hard lately,' Dr. Roberts took a deep breath, 'Am I correct?'

Rachel gawked at him but regained her composure quickly, 'I've only been working hard because Regionals is coming up in two weeks. I have a very competitive side.'

'But...' He began. Rachel frowned.

'But lately I've only seemed to have an interest in Glee and I've had time for Blaine but...I just don't seem to be myself anymore.' Rachel said as she spoke to her hands.

It was a few seconds before Dr. Roberts spoke, 'Rachel do you know what burnout is?'

Rachel shook her head.

'It's a psychology term to describe when someone feels little to no interest in their life and work or they just feel tired all the time. It's a form of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion.'

Rachel looked at him skeptically, 'And you think I have that?'

'I can't really tell you I'm not a psychologist but based on the information you and your friend have given me...I am going to recommend you seek therapy maybe find a stress intervention program or maybe you try working on the stress yourself.' He said as he scribbled on his note pad. 'And I'm going to give you a doctors note.' He ripped a piece of paper off and began to write on another.

'Why?' Rachel asked.

'I'm going to also recommend that you not participate in any activities that involve your glee club for as long as your condition lasts.'

In that moment Rachel felt her heart fall to the floor. Every noise around her seemed louder, the clock ticking, the pen scratching, the doctors foot tapping, her own heartbeat. A scream built up in her throat that threatened to escape but before she could even open her mouth Dr. Roberts looked at her and spoke.

'You're stressed Rachel. You're only seventeen but going through something a middle aged person goes through. This is the age when you have fun and figure out who you are.'

'I know who I am.' Rachel said, even if her voice came out in a whisper. 'Glee club is my life.'

'No it's not.' He said tiredly.

'They need me. I'm their captain.' She pleaded pathetically with him.

'I'm sorry Rachel. I'll notify your fathers as soon as I can.' Dr. Roberts stood with a sigh and began to make his way to the door.

'Dr. Roberts?' Rachel asked. She didn't know why she took an interest in his college but when she saw his degree she could help but ask the question on her mind.

He stopped and turned to face her, 'Yes Rachel?'

'I noticed that you went to Columbia.' She said referring to the credentials on his wall.

Dr. Roberts nodded, clearly confused, 'Yes. I did.'

'You went to Columbia but your in Lima?' She couldn't help but hide the disgust in her voice.

'Yes.' He chuckled.

_'Why?'_

'I had dreams to go to Africa right after High school, so I could help the people that need medical attention. But I grew up in Lima, I had a family, friends and my High school sweetheart here. She had a degree in art and she wanted to be an artist and she wanted me but the possibility of me being around if I worked in Africa was almost nonexistent. So I didn't go, I stayed here and I help people in the same way, even if their conditions aren't so dire.'

Rachel shook her head and scoffed lightly, 'So you gave your dreams for her?'

'Of course.' But Rachel wasn't convinced and Dr. Roberts noticed this, 'Sometimes dreams don't come true. That's why they're called dreams.'

'But did you ever get the opportunity to go?'

'Yes.' He said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Rachel gaped at him, her jaw hit the floor. He had the opportunity to do what he loved best, to make all his dreams come true and he just gave it up, just like that.

'I know what your thinking.' He said, interrupting Rachel's thoughts, 'But sometimes dreams don't matter, not unless you have what you need to live, whatever that may be. In my case it was love.'

Rachel nodded and tried to of a reason to go against this, to prove that dreams were all that mattered...but there was nothing.

'Thank you.' She said smiling her signature smile, even if doing so made her muscles hurt.

Dr. Roberts smiled back, left the doctors note in her hands, with a glint in his eyes that warned her not to tear it up (she knew he would call her fathers) and walked out the office door. Blaine was in there a few seconds after he left.

'Rachel? What happened what did he say?' He asked anxiously.

Rachel looked into his brown eyes, 'Do you want the good news, bad news or really bad news?'

'In that order, I guess.' Blaine answered a little too cautiously.

'I'm still in love with Finn.' She said, finally speaking the truth that she kept hidden from everyone and even herself.

Blaine's eyes softened, 'Oh Rach.'

She smiled slightly but continued, 'I need to get therapy. Apparently, I'm not the same girl I was anymore,' Blaine's eyes immediately washed over with sympathy, 'I'm a bit depressed and I'm going through a phase.'

'Oh, Rachel it's okay.' He knelt down on the floor and smiled up at her, 'What's the really bad news?'

Rachel looked down at the note in her hands and inhaled sharply, 'Well...'

* * *

Please review, hope you like it.


	15. Beautiful Day

**I don't own any characters from glee.**

* * *

They hadn't expected to sitting, watching their rivals perform without Rachel.

Sure, they were still just as good without Rachel but they were missing something. But even though they were shocked, they were happy because without Rachel Vocal Adrenaline had a very little chance of winning.

That was until the two teams tied for Nationals.

It sucked. Majorly sucked, but they made it farther then they did last year. They'd like have thought it was because _they_ didn't have Rachel, but they knew it was because_ Vocal Adrenaline_ didn't have Rachel. Without her they were lost children looking for their mother.

So New Directions they did what they did best, they lived through it and in return Vocal Adrenaline put on their most valued show faces.

'Guys!' Both teams turned around a the sound of Rachel's voice.

'Look who's come crawling back.' Santana whispered in Quinn's ear as they all packed their belonging.

But Rachel wasn't talking to anyone from New Directions, she didn't even notice their presence, she ran into Blaine's open arms with tears in her eyes.

'You guys were all so wonderful.' She said after Blaine released her, 'I am immensely proud of you.'

'But we didn't win.' A voice in the back said to her.

'Winning isn't everything.' Rachel said, her voice became warm and sweet, 'Sometimes it's about family, and having fun and knowing that by the end of the day you tried your best, and even if your best wasn't enough, you still had the rest of your friends to rely on.'

'Rachel's right.' Shelby said as she walked up to face them, 'Come on guys. Let's head over to my house, maybe we can discuss songs for Nationals.' Vocal Adrenaline shuffled out, their once fake smiles replaced with happy, genuine ones. Rachel smiled at each of them before turning to Blaine.

'Do you need help?' Rachel asked Blaine as he unsuccessfully tried to carry one to many bags.

'I'd love some.' He chuckled and dropped the bags to the floor in a huff. New Directions furrowed their brows in confusion, how did she not know they were there.

'_You _were wonderful Blaine.' She told him before leaning down to get a bag.

'Thanks sweetie.' He said leaning over too, 'I thought I was pretty wonderful too.'

The duo laughed in unison, 'It's too bad Ben wasn't here to see you guys perform.' Rachel sighed, 'I miss him.'

'I know.' Blaine said, they had all of the bags safely secured around their shoulders, 'But you have me.'

Rachel laughed, 'I know. You are a great best friend Blaine.'

A wide smile broke out on Blaine's face and before he could respond Kurt stepped forward, 'Hi Rachel.' He said. Rachel turned to him, her eyes were hesitant but she extended her hand and greeted him warmly.

'Hello Kurt. It's lovely to see you.' Rachel stepped closer to him, 'I saw your performance, truly spectacular.'

Kurt blushed slightly and raised an eyebrow at Rachel's seemingly genuine compliment, 'Thank you. May I ask why you didn't perform?'

'Rachel...' Blaine said as he stood forward in an overprotective manner.

'Oh, Blaine, it's fine.' She playfully slapped his arm, 'Doctors orders. It seems as though I am not allowed to perform in any of my extra curricular art programs, dancing and acting included.'

Kurt gasped loudly, his hand flew to his throat, 'That's dreadful. Did you lose your voice?'

'No!' Rachel and Blaine exclaimed at the same time. With a quick glace at each other Rachel sighed, 'Personal matters.' Rachel decided that was the best way to sum up the situation.

Kurt nodded, 'Rachel. I wanted to...apologize...I wasn't the best person in the world. I could have been better, nicer, we all could have been, but we weren't. I'm sorry. I hope you can accept my apology, but you don't have to forgive me.'

'Kurt.' Rachel said, her voice thick, 'I forgive you. All of you.' She said to everyone, her eyes lingering on Finn.

Santana scoffed.

'Well, except for you Santana. But I don't think you count as a person seeing as you don't have a soul.' Rachel smiled kindly and Blaine pressed his lips together to keep from laughing, 'Tell me does you father know your up here, or did you just come up here for a vacation?'

Santana's eyes turned red and she looked like she was about to explode. 'Berry, if you were smart you would just turn around and walk away.'

'Well, I am smart.' Rachel picked up her bag, 'So thank you for the advice.'

Rachel turned around with her head held high, no traces of defeat were seen. She was a new girl, no, a new women. But that didn't change the way Finn felt about her, because he would always love her.

Blaine smiled, 'Awesome isn't she.' He said in amazement.

'I have to agree with you.' Kurt admit he was correct, 'She's a very different person from the girl I remember.'

Blaine smiled, 'You know, you should come to the party tonight, it's going to be at Shelby's. You don't have to if you don't want to but, it seems like you really want to be friends with Rachel and maybe you could get started on it now.'

Kurt looked at Blaine in shock, 'I...don't think I'd be welcomed.' He told him truthfully.

'Well, that's true.' Blaine lifted up the remaining bags and sent Kurt a mischievous grin, 'But you could always just come as my date, you know, if you want to.' Blaine began to walk away from a very flabbergasted Kurt Hummel, he turned swiftly, the smile still on his face, 'Hope to see you there.'

The only thing Kurt could do was nod, and Mercedes walked up to him squealing with joy, 'So are you gonna go?' she asked him with a happy smile on her face.

'I-I think so.' They smiled at each other, and hooked arms. Everyone began to leave the building but Finn was glued to his spot. Rachel was right there in front of him, within his reach, but he hadn't done anything. He just stared at her, as if he was waiting for her to come to him. And even though he knew she wouldn't, he'd hope she would.

She'd done it before, she ran after him and worked to win his love. But it wasn't like that anymore, Finn knew he was the that had to do it. And it wasn't going to be easy.

'Finn?' Kurt called to him as they sat in the bus, ready to go home.

'Huh?'

'I know what you're thinking.' Kurt told him, but Finn just furrowed his brow.

'What are you ta-' Finn begins but Kurt interrupts him.

'Leave her be Finn.' Kurt stood up and gathered his things, 'You owe her that much.' He walked away from Finn and joined Mercedes in the back of the bus.

Finn thinks that's the best advice he's ever gotten.

* * *

A few months later, when both teams are in New York for Nationals, Finn realizes it's been months since he's actually spoken to Rachel. After Kurt's very subtle warning he stayed away from Rachel and allowed her to grow without him But that didn't stop his from apologizing to her, he sent hundreds of pink tulips to her house and gave her tickets to some Broadway show that Kurt said she wanted to go to (he used some of his own money and had to get a job for three months to pay Burt back) . He still remembers the look of her face, he'd never seen her look so astonished.

He'd only said three words to her that day, he thinks that's all that was really needed, 'I am sorry.' Then he turned around and never went back.

He'd heard news from both Kurt and Mercedes about Rachel, how she was doing, what she was up to, if she ever had boyfriend (she never did). Because the three of them became great friends, Kurt even began a relationship with Blaine, Finn never not knew what was going on with Rachel. She ended up joining Vocal Adrenaline again after her personal crisis was over, but she never went back to McKinley, she made it clear that there was no way she would ever go back.

Finn was proud of her, he always was but she always reminds him of a quote Rachel said, it's cheesy but it always reminds him of her,_ If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one._

She always had the best quotes, even though they weren't exactly hers.

Then he sees her, in the midst of all of the faces. She stands out the most, and he's never seen her so happy. She looks like she's home.

'New York really does a number on Rachel.' Mr. Shue observes before he takes a bite of his sandwich, 'Finn where are you going?' He asks his mouth full of food. The rest of the glee club watches in anticipation and Blaine turns to face them.

'You guys all owe me ten bucks.' He says smugly.

Santana rolls her eyes and goes back to her salad, 'Don't forget you owe me too.' Everyone turns to look at incredulously but she just shrugs her shoulders and takes a sip of her water.

'What? You can even check the paper we placed the bets on, I may not like them but I'm not stupid enough to pass on an obvious bet.'

They look away from her just in time to see Finn walk up to the steps where Rachel sat. She was twirling her hair impatiently and listening to Ben go on and on about his new German Shorthaired Pointer and how he'd rather spend his Saturday night with his dog and not his boyfriend.

Finn smiled down at Rachel and waited for her to notice his presence, she notice's in a second because the sun's no longer in her eyes, his tall figure it blocking in out. She looks up at him in curiosity and wonders what in the world he is doing.

He extends his hand and sends her that goofy smile of his, 'Hey there, I'm Finn Hudson and I noticed you over here. What's you name?'

Rachel looked at his and finds herself lost for words, 'Rachel Berry.' She plays along with him because she knows that this is his way of starting over.

And for some reason, it all played out correctly. Her arrival at Carmel wasn't her new beginning, it was just a journey she had to go through to get where she was now; sitting on the steps in front of the met, next to her closest friends and her mother and in the front of the love of her life.

Rachel smiles up at him, and his own smile grows wider, _this_ is just the beginning.

* * *

**So that's the end, hoped you liked it, please review. **


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